The Amazing Race
Whenever I watch Survivor or (especially) The Amazing Race I try to figure out who is there instead of me, i.e. who demographically represents me if I had been on the show. I also look at it from the standpoint of how would I do against this group. The married Asian couple is obviously who my wife and myself would be. Self-professed mean husband, cute wife. The interesting thing about the season so far (as much as you can tell in one episode) is there isn’t a single pair that I don’t think my wife and I could wipe the floor with.
The teams (caveat this with I’m sure they’re all really nice people they just don’t come off that way):
Brent and Caite: Probably one of the stronger teams, believe it or not. She’s not going to win a Nobel Prize (well Obama did so it’s not out of the question), but they seem to be very competitive. She’s famous for a major gaffe on a major stage, but she seems to have come to terms with it. One of the teams to watch. Made the rookie mistake of not reading the clues. He comes off as a major tool. Didn’t care for her “we really came in second” comment. Ah, no you didn’t.
Carol and Brandy: Self professed shoppers, can’t see them doing well. If you’re giving up on challenge one, you’re not going to go the distance.
Dana and Adrian: People like them piss me off. What I mean by that is you get this amazing (pardon the pun) chance and you give up. On the first task. Really? There are many people that were not picked so you got to run the race, and you give up? Get off my show.
Jet and Cord: Were weaker than I expected. Did get from the funicular through painting to the mat quicker than anyone else. I would say they will be a team to watch once they get used to being on the race.
Jody and Shannon: I have mad respect to anyone who does marathons and things like that. I honestly think age is going to be their undoing which is too bad. They’re cool and interesting, but I don’t see them going far.
Joe and Heidi: This season’s me. Guy said he would be a jerk. I didn’t see him that way. They could go far, but they didn’t impress me in the opener. Not great, not bad. Put them into the wait and see column.
Dan and Jordan: Didn’t really get a feeling either way for them. They were funny, but didn’t get any indication of their competency or their drive. Losing the paintbrush does show a lack of attention which could hurt them later.
Jeff and Jordan: FSM bless her. Jordan is not bright. Jeff is no rocket scientist, though he is familiar with Technotronics, so that should help. I don’t see them going far, because eventually a mental task will do them in.
Louie and Michael: I thought the whole idea behind being undercover detectives was to have your identity as unknown. Consider that cover as blown. Was surprised with how poorly they did in the first leg. I bet they rebound and do well.
Monique and Shawne: I don’t see them doing too well in the long haul. No matter what you feel about religion, I really doubt God is paying attention to The Amazing Race. Nice enough people, but I figure them for middle of the pack.
Steve and Allie: I would have them as a dark horse. I think they have potential, but it is too early to tell. She’s cute, so I’ll be pulling for them.
Thoughts on the first episode: In the beginning (and actually through-out the race) there is safety in numbers. The three people who won the earlier flight could have been thoroughly hosed because of mechanical problems. Something to think about.
Walking the wire would have been cool as hell. Would it have been scary? Sure. Could my wife have done it? Probably not. I could have kicked that pig in no time. Giving up is unforgiveable. I understand that you have a love for your spouse and this wouldn’t be a deal breaker, but ask him to man up. Seriously. I can imagine my wife being one of the people yelling encouragement as I’d be going across the wire. That’s fine, but just do it once every couple of minutes, if that often. I know I would have been asking her to STFU and let me do my thing. This would have been an issue.
Painting the house had to be one of the simplest tasks ever. What could it have taken to paint a 2 x 2 square? Three minutes? I think the hardest part was just finding the house. Funny when the two people just started randomly painting the inside of someone’s house.
Two penalties on the first leg, both because of not paying attention. This potentially is a harbinger of things to come for these two teams. You’ve got to concentrate. Interesting that there was no detour, or at least there wasn’t one shown. The ganging up shown in the preview is something I wouldn’t put up with if I was a team on the outside. There is etiquette and I’ll be damned if you’re going to cut in front of me with 1 million dollars on the line.
Movies:
I have low standards. Just ask many of my former “girlfriends” and you’ll see that this is a true statement. When I go to a movie, all that I ask is that I’m entertained.
However, when you have a movie like Avatar maybe I expect just a little more. As the biggest movie ever (purely from a box office standpoint) I would (naively) assume that it would be good. Avatar was a major letdown. It was very pretty, and with the exception of one shot very early in the film, the CGI was great. The 3D was cool, although unnecessary, and definitely not worth the extra $4. $11 for a matinee, what a fucking rip-off.
I’ve had a bad stream of luck regarding movies lately, whether it be those on the big screen or those off of Netflix.
The bad series of underwhelming films started with Friends with Money. Of course this is not my fault, because it was one of the wife’s choices. Okay movie, but plodding and nothing really happens. I did find out that it was originally a play, which it probably would be more successful as.
This was followed with Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. Halloween II (the original sequel) is one of my favorite horror films of all time. It has really good tension, and an amazing sequence using security monitors which works extremely well. Rob Zombie’s take on part 2 didn’t work, was boring, and just didn’t work at all.
The Final Destination. I should have known better. The first three “death is gonna get you via some Rube Goldberg method” movies weren’t masterpieces, but were entertaining. This one suffered from the 2D 3D curse, and the acting was just awful.
Couples Retreat. Awful. Hard to believe that the same people that wrote Swingers wrote this garbage.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Survivor Yeah vs. Huh?
It's no secret that I really like Survivor. This fourth iteration of the remember me reminds me what I like about it, because some of it is missing.
Survivor is about a group of strangers dropped off with minimal stuff, getting to know each other and "surviving" the situation as they go. As I watched the premiere episode of season 20 there were a couple of things I noticed. 1. These people change clothes more than I do. 2. Nearly all of them have pre-established relationships. 3. Who are some of these people?
1. In one of the preview shows (on the TV guide channel?) one of the contestants talked about how they were allowed to bring extra clothes. Gone is the challenge of making do with the clothes off your back. Remember the guy in the Armani suit and the girl with no underwear? That fun is gone.
2. With the exception of Russel, all of them know at least some of the people competing either from being on the show together or from gatherings back in civilization. There are two major exceptions to this. Russel has both the benefit and the handicap of being an unknown. Colby apparently has distanced himself from the Survivor universe because he knows very little to nothing about most of them that have competed outside of his two previous seasons.
3. There were some questions I had about why person x was on this team or that, and a few "who the fuck is that" people. I will cover that in the cast breakdown.
The show starts and the first challenge is held. Already the terms heroes and villains is becoming annoying and I can't wait for the team shuffle that will happen in four or five episodes. People are mixing it up and Stephanie's should gets dislocated. I give her credit because she wanted to know what having medical looked at her meant, ie don't have them look at me if it means I'm out. It gets popped back in and the challenge continues. Cut to her bitching about the "villains" being villains. Uh, sweetheart, your team was playing just as hard and physical as them, so kindly STFU. Colby gets owned which was cool. It's tied two-two and James makes a break for the end, and here's where it gets interesting. Jeff is the ultimate judge in challenges (per the official rules which are interesting to read if you ever get the chance) and he screws up here. In a previous season, Jeff declared one tribe the winner and then someone pointed out that the boat had to be here and the people there or something and he reversed his decision. The rules for this challenge stated that the team had to be touching both the bag and the mat. As you can see, James clearly drops the bag before he touches the mat:
His foot is clearly not yet on the mat and the bag has been dropped.
The cast:
As a disclaimer I will say that I don't know any of these people, so they could be the nicest people in the world, and it should not be taken as an actual definitive representation of how they are.
Heroes:
Amanda: Very nice to look at. Made it to the end twice and bombed with her speech both times. Don't think she did anything to make her a "hero", and is just as deserving of the villain moniker as Parvati.
Candace: Once again, very nice to look at. Don't remember her at all. She looks vaguely familiar, but no more so than someone I met at the grocery store. WTF #1.
Cirie: Great strategist. Not heroic. Deserves the villain title as much as Amanda and Parvati as part of the she-devil alliance from Survivor 16.
Colby: Okay, this one make sense. Should have won his own season, but was stupid so he didn't. More unfamiliar with the game than probably everyone else out there. My wife said he still looks really good.
James: Deserves to be there. Not a smart player historically, but def. should be there and is on the right tribe. Scary big guy.
J.T.: Also deserves to be there. Don't know if his aw-shucks game play will work a second time around.
Rupert: Okay, I get it. The guys a hero. I personally can't stand him (his crying in his first season and how it was his game, etc. really pissed me off), but he should be there and is on the right tribe. His broken toe will probably be his undoing this time around.
Stephanie: Can't stand her. Liked her after her first season. Came off as an uber bitch in her second outing. Think she's on the wrong tribe.
Tom: Can't argue with this one. He played well, and he played nice.
Sugar: It's Heroes vs. Villains not Nice People vs. Assholes. She's nice (though what she did to Randy was kind of shitty), but she cries...alot. I can understand why she was brought back, but she's hardly a hero. First out, hopefully there won't be much more crying (hear that Rupert?)
Villains:
Coach: Deserves to be there. Villain is actually kind of wrong for him, because even though he was misguided, he was honest and played a pretty clean game.
Courtney: I once described her as the most inept person ever to play the game. Is on the right tribe, but I question selecting her in the first place. However, she did show some spunk in the first challenge. Hopefully her nemesis rope won't appear this season. She could win if she can survive to the merge just because she is so worthless no one would dump her after the merge.
Danielle: Nice to look at. Who is she? Don't remember her at all. WTF #2
Jerri: Was an obvious choice. 'Nuff said.
Parvati: Nice to look at. Why is she a villain. Jeff's reasoning applies to two of the heroes, so I don't buy it.
Randy: Really torn on this one. He was a character, but I'm not sure if he should be there over Rob. C., porno Brian, etc.
Rob: Obvious choice, but the guys had his (four) shot(s) already. He won't win.
Russel: Deserves to be there, but I think will end up outclassed because he is using the same strategy he used against noobs. I don't think he'll have the alliances to make it to the end. Should have won last season.
Sandra: Shouldn't have won her season. Doesn't really deserve the villain title. Shouldn't be there.
Tyson: I love this guy because he relishes his role as the douche-bag. Deserves to be there and I hope he goes further.
Notes: How much of a deer in the headlights did Rupert look like during the puzzle part of the immunity challenge? His statement of "they are better and strategizing and talking and puzzles" was very telling. That means that they are better at Survivor you dumb-ass.
Predictions:
Too early to tell, but Rupert's toe will make him a liability so I don't see him making the merge. Look for people with existing relationships to go far and those without them to fall early. A tribe shake-up will make things interesting.
Please CBS, new blood from now on (unless I get on). The figuring out of who these people are and how they'll play is the most fun.
My video on CBS.com for Survivor 21:
Survivor is about a group of strangers dropped off with minimal stuff, getting to know each other and "surviving" the situation as they go. As I watched the premiere episode of season 20 there were a couple of things I noticed. 1. These people change clothes more than I do. 2. Nearly all of them have pre-established relationships. 3. Who are some of these people?
1. In one of the preview shows (on the TV guide channel?) one of the contestants talked about how they were allowed to bring extra clothes. Gone is the challenge of making do with the clothes off your back. Remember the guy in the Armani suit and the girl with no underwear? That fun is gone.
2. With the exception of Russel, all of them know at least some of the people competing either from being on the show together or from gatherings back in civilization. There are two major exceptions to this. Russel has both the benefit and the handicap of being an unknown. Colby apparently has distanced himself from the Survivor universe because he knows very little to nothing about most of them that have competed outside of his two previous seasons.
3. There were some questions I had about why person x was on this team or that, and a few "who the fuck is that" people. I will cover that in the cast breakdown.
The show starts and the first challenge is held. Already the terms heroes and villains is becoming annoying and I can't wait for the team shuffle that will happen in four or five episodes. People are mixing it up and Stephanie's should gets dislocated. I give her credit because she wanted to know what having medical looked at her meant, ie don't have them look at me if it means I'm out. It gets popped back in and the challenge continues. Cut to her bitching about the "villains" being villains. Uh, sweetheart, your team was playing just as hard and physical as them, so kindly STFU. Colby gets owned which was cool. It's tied two-two and James makes a break for the end, and here's where it gets interesting. Jeff is the ultimate judge in challenges (per the official rules which are interesting to read if you ever get the chance) and he screws up here. In a previous season, Jeff declared one tribe the winner and then someone pointed out that the boat had to be here and the people there or something and he reversed his decision. The rules for this challenge stated that the team had to be touching both the bag and the mat. As you can see, James clearly drops the bag before he touches the mat:
His foot is clearly not yet on the mat and the bag has been dropped.
The cast:
As a disclaimer I will say that I don't know any of these people, so they could be the nicest people in the world, and it should not be taken as an actual definitive representation of how they are.
Heroes:
Amanda: Very nice to look at. Made it to the end twice and bombed with her speech both times. Don't think she did anything to make her a "hero", and is just as deserving of the villain moniker as Parvati.
Candace: Once again, very nice to look at. Don't remember her at all. She looks vaguely familiar, but no more so than someone I met at the grocery store. WTF #1.
Cirie: Great strategist. Not heroic. Deserves the villain title as much as Amanda and Parvati as part of the she-devil alliance from Survivor 16.
Colby: Okay, this one make sense. Should have won his own season, but was stupid so he didn't. More unfamiliar with the game than probably everyone else out there. My wife said he still looks really good.
James: Deserves to be there. Not a smart player historically, but def. should be there and is on the right tribe. Scary big guy.
J.T.: Also deserves to be there. Don't know if his aw-shucks game play will work a second time around.
Rupert: Okay, I get it. The guys a hero. I personally can't stand him (his crying in his first season and how it was his game, etc. really pissed me off), but he should be there and is on the right tribe. His broken toe will probably be his undoing this time around.
Stephanie: Can't stand her. Liked her after her first season. Came off as an uber bitch in her second outing. Think she's on the wrong tribe.
Tom: Can't argue with this one. He played well, and he played nice.
Sugar: It's Heroes vs. Villains not Nice People vs. Assholes. She's nice (though what she did to Randy was kind of shitty), but she cries...alot. I can understand why she was brought back, but she's hardly a hero. First out, hopefully there won't be much more crying (hear that Rupert?)
Villains:
Coach: Deserves to be there. Villain is actually kind of wrong for him, because even though he was misguided, he was honest and played a pretty clean game.
Courtney: I once described her as the most inept person ever to play the game. Is on the right tribe, but I question selecting her in the first place. However, she did show some spunk in the first challenge. Hopefully her nemesis rope won't appear this season. She could win if she can survive to the merge just because she is so worthless no one would dump her after the merge.
Danielle: Nice to look at. Who is she? Don't remember her at all. WTF #2
Jerri: Was an obvious choice. 'Nuff said.
Parvati: Nice to look at. Why is she a villain. Jeff's reasoning applies to two of the heroes, so I don't buy it.
Randy: Really torn on this one. He was a character, but I'm not sure if he should be there over Rob. C., porno Brian, etc.
Rob: Obvious choice, but the guys had his (four) shot(s) already. He won't win.
Russel: Deserves to be there, but I think will end up outclassed because he is using the same strategy he used against noobs. I don't think he'll have the alliances to make it to the end. Should have won last season.
Sandra: Shouldn't have won her season. Doesn't really deserve the villain title. Shouldn't be there.
Tyson: I love this guy because he relishes his role as the douche-bag. Deserves to be there and I hope he goes further.
Notes: How much of a deer in the headlights did Rupert look like during the puzzle part of the immunity challenge? His statement of "they are better and strategizing and talking and puzzles" was very telling. That means that they are better at Survivor you dumb-ass.
Predictions:
Too early to tell, but Rupert's toe will make him a liability so I don't see him making the merge. Look for people with existing relationships to go far and those without them to fall early. A tribe shake-up will make things interesting.
Please CBS, new blood from now on (unless I get on). The figuring out of who these people are and how they'll play is the most fun.
My video on CBS.com for Survivor 21:
Friday, February 5, 2010
The boy who (almost) lived
Dig if you will a picture...not going down that path.
My 20th high-school reunion is this year. I'm sure it will be a festive occasion, and a good time will be had by all. I know I will be having a blast since I won't be there.
Two decades beyond my matriculation I know that high-school was a many splendored (fuck you, I know it's not actually a word, but I've heard it used before) thing for many, but not for me. There's really not much to say to the vast majority of people that will be there, and most of them wouldn't really want to hear it anyway.
This is not a boo-hoo post. My life is pretty solid and I'm as close to happy as my neuroses will allow, so don't let that throw you. However the idea of high-school and things of that nature made me think of something. There is a horrible thing that sometimes happens when you run into people from your possible pasts. They tell you of what could have been. The worst is when one of them (a girl in this scenario) tells you how she had a crush on you in high-school and was totally into you. Granted this isn't a daily thing, but it has happened, and it hurts.
There's a fallacy I've heard repeated many times along the lines of "If I knew in high-school what I knew now I would totally have gotten laid all the time." No, you wouldn't have, at least not without a substantial amount of Rohipnol. Back on point, when you hear about this crush that someone had, or that they totally would have gone out with you it makes me sad. Perhaps I would have hated high-school less if I'd slept with more women. Probably not, but it's a possibility.
None of this directly to relates to how I came up with this particular blog idea, but I'll get there. For all of the near misses I've had in life, none of them were of Earth shattering importance. An extra hand job here, a blow-job there, but nothing that would significantly have altered my timeline in getting here. For that I am blessed.
Consider Thadious Gregory (not his real name, because I have no idea what it really is). He was a British kid (still is). There is an open casting call for a Warner Brothers movie the better part of a decade ago. He goes with his mum and his dad and queues up with the other young lads to have a go at it.
He gets a call back. Out of the thousands of people who met with casting agents they saw something special in him. So he goes back. Then he gets yet another callback, and another. Eventually it is down to him and two other kids. Then it is just him and another boy. A boy by the name of Daniel Radcliffe. You know, the Danielle Radcliffe that made an RCH over $41 million dollars last year playing a certain bespectacled wizard.
Imagine if you were Thadious. How could you ever, even in a million years, reconcile yourself to the fact that you almost became Harry Potter, only to be beaten by another young man who would eventually do a nude scene with a horse puppet? Every waking moment would be a reminder of what you almost had, how if life had taken just a slightly different turn the world would have been your oyster, and that no woman would be out of your league.
The mere thought that this poor person is out there makes all of my failures, all my near-misses, all of my disasters seem much more manageable. I know there are people I really hate, but I guarantee Thadious fucking despises Daniel.
My 20th high-school reunion is this year. I'm sure it will be a festive occasion, and a good time will be had by all. I know I will be having a blast since I won't be there.
Two decades beyond my matriculation I know that high-school was a many splendored (fuck you, I know it's not actually a word, but I've heard it used before) thing for many, but not for me. There's really not much to say to the vast majority of people that will be there, and most of them wouldn't really want to hear it anyway.
This is not a boo-hoo post. My life is pretty solid and I'm as close to happy as my neuroses will allow, so don't let that throw you. However the idea of high-school and things of that nature made me think of something. There is a horrible thing that sometimes happens when you run into people from your possible pasts. They tell you of what could have been. The worst is when one of them (a girl in this scenario) tells you how she had a crush on you in high-school and was totally into you. Granted this isn't a daily thing, but it has happened, and it hurts.
There's a fallacy I've heard repeated many times along the lines of "If I knew in high-school what I knew now I would totally have gotten laid all the time." No, you wouldn't have, at least not without a substantial amount of Rohipnol. Back on point, when you hear about this crush that someone had, or that they totally would have gone out with you it makes me sad. Perhaps I would have hated high-school less if I'd slept with more women. Probably not, but it's a possibility.
None of this directly to relates to how I came up with this particular blog idea, but I'll get there. For all of the near misses I've had in life, none of them were of Earth shattering importance. An extra hand job here, a blow-job there, but nothing that would significantly have altered my timeline in getting here. For that I am blessed.
Consider Thadious Gregory (not his real name, because I have no idea what it really is). He was a British kid (still is). There is an open casting call for a Warner Brothers movie the better part of a decade ago. He goes with his mum and his dad and queues up with the other young lads to have a go at it.
He gets a call back. Out of the thousands of people who met with casting agents they saw something special in him. So he goes back. Then he gets yet another callback, and another. Eventually it is down to him and two other kids. Then it is just him and another boy. A boy by the name of Daniel Radcliffe. You know, the Danielle Radcliffe that made an RCH over $41 million dollars last year playing a certain bespectacled wizard.
Imagine if you were Thadious. How could you ever, even in a million years, reconcile yourself to the fact that you almost became Harry Potter, only to be beaten by another young man who would eventually do a nude scene with a horse puppet? Every waking moment would be a reminder of what you almost had, how if life had taken just a slightly different turn the world would have been your oyster, and that no woman would be out of your league.
The mere thought that this poor person is out there makes all of my failures, all my near-misses, all of my disasters seem much more manageable. I know there are people I really hate, but I guarantee Thadious fucking despises Daniel.
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