Thursday, November 10, 2011

Survivor Douche vs. Dragon Slayer edition

Mr. Kotter

It’s been awhile. Redemption Island sucked my will to blog about Survivor because it was so blatantly Boston Rob centric that I didn’t feel like writing about it. South Pacific has been much better. A balanced game with shifting power structures and improved game play from a less douchey Coach, and hissy fits from “the winningest Survivor ever.”

Time

One of the things they say about professional quarterbacks is that they get good when the game “slows down” for them. As a pitcher they say the worst thing you can do is “aim the ball”. Looking at a game like Survivor or Big Brother (but let’s stick with Survivor because it is “in season”) I imagine the hardest thing to do is to sit and let the game “come to you”.

There are 24 hours in a day, even in the South Pacific. That’s a lot of time. A lot of time to think. Thinking is usually a good thing, but too much thinking becomes over thinking and you can think yourself right out of the game. Coach’s old tribe (I will refer to them as Utapau out of respect to George Lucas) along with Cochran are in the driver’s seat. It is an enviable position, but also a difficult position. Why is it difficult? Because they literally have a week long period where they don’t have to think about the game, or at least they shouldn’t. Time will come when changes need to be made, but, at least the core Utapau six, that time is not now. They have a final six +1 situation. Until they get down to one remaining Ozzy-team member even immunity shouldn’t derail their plans. Those multiple ticks of the clock (I saw a survivor wearing a watch which I thought was forbidden) are creeping into the heads of some of the Utapau and this is good news for two people…

Cochran and Dawn


Cochran made the right move. Stephen Fishbach can say whatever he wants, Cochran made the right move. On the Ozzy tribe he was a man without a country, solidly in the sixth place column, with his only ally being right behind him in the fifth slot. By making his move he goes from an (at best) sixth to an (at worst) seventh. The difference being he had no shot (other than winning immunities) to move up through the ranks of the six. Although the other six seem solid on Utapau, he did not know this and it also gives him possibilities.

Survivor isn’t supposed to be a personal game, but at some level it always is. Even though it’s “just a strategic move and not personal” that doesn’t make you feel any better at loser lodge or even worse Redemption Island (more about this later). All that being said, some of the things said and done to Cochran were crappy, not on a game level, but on a human level. Keith was a dick to Cochran. Ozzy wasn’t much better, and had a sense of entitlement not seen since Boston Rob rolled over the idiots last season. Perhaps Brandon said it best when Cochran flipped and Jim called him a coward. They were treating Cochran bad, and Survivor was imitating life with Cochran being the geek that you don’t have to treat with respect. The fallout after tribal was more of the same. I would argue that making this move doesn’t make Cochran a coward, rather it makes him brave for standing on his own two feet and “fighting his own battles” as he was accused of not doing by uber-prick Keith.

Dawn seemed to recognize this, right up until she won the immunity idol. At that point she abandoned her support and possible understanding of Cochran jumping ship. It’s easier to hold tribal lines when you know you’re not going to pick a rock to decide your destiny. Still, she is actually in a really good position. It wouldn’t look like it right now, but if you follow along she is in a position to go far in this game if she plays her cards right.

Who’s a threat?


Apparently Dawn if you listen to Albert, which is stupid. Your chances of beating Dawn in most challenges is going to be much greater than Jim. Here is where the game gets interesting. Cochran is a smart guy, and a student of the game. He knows that in the end it is a numbers game. Not including Redemption Island, there are nine people remaining, so the magic number is five. Whitney is next to go unless she wins immunity, which brings it down to eight. Albert is already getting stir-crazy and is not letting the game come to him so the Coach six are going to splinter. Cochran (and by proxy Dawn) will have to choose sides. They have two options.

The split

Utapau will splinter into two groups, Coach, Edna, the mustache guy, and Brandon on one side with Sophie and Albert on the other. Cochran will have to decide where he wants to hang his (borrowed) cowboy hat. He’s already shown that he doesn’t want to draw rocks so he will pull Dawn into the smaller coach alliance in a final six deal. Albert and Sophie are removed from the game and we get to another situation where Cochran and Dawn are on the outside looking in. From here I don’t know where they go, but Cochran has moved from six to five and still is in the game. I would guess it would play out that Albert goes, Cochran and Dawn align with Sophie, pick up the Cowboy (he’s last in that alliance) and boot Coach. Brandon probably kills someone at this point which disqualifies him from the game.

Redemption Island sucks


There is no hiding it, Redemption Island is dumb, and it hurts the game. It lessens the impact of removing someone from the game and unlike the torch snuffing at night, losing a duel during the day (after having time to reflect that your game is probably over) is just less dramatic and emotional. Who will come back from R. I.? I don’t know, but as long as it’s not Ozzy I’ll be happy.

Ozzy is an idiot


Survivor is full of unknowns. The only thing you can count on is the unexpected. Expect the unexpected? Wrong show. When dealing with a ton of ambiguity the best play is to deal with what you do know, and worry about the rest as it comes up. Asking to be sent to Redemption Island is like volunteering to be a pawn (wrong show again.) It is basically asking to lose the game. Even though his gamble paid off and he was right in his assumptions he is in a worse position than he would have been had he not taken this major gamble. If they had sent Cochran to RI he would have lost, the sassy Long Islander would have come back and had much more loyalty to Ozzy’s tribe. Rocks would have been picked and it would be a completely different game. Ozzy’s need to prove himself has proven himself right out of the game.

Finally

Enough with the returning players. We get it. There’s been a colorful person or ten over the years on Survivor. Part of the fun of the show was getting to know these new people. If the returning player mania had started two years ago we never would have gotten Russell Hantz. By continuing to bring people back and giving them more air time than others you are preventing the audience from discovering the next great Survivor player.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Redemption Song

Fast (Times) wisdom
A wise man once said, “You know the attitude…You don’t care if she comes, stays, lays, or prays. No matter what happens, your toes are still tapping.” I think that is the attitude Survivor producers take when spitballing ideas. They throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks. Sometimes it works: hidden immunity idols, “the tribe has spoken”. Sometimes it doesn’t: The Medallion of Power and the much vaunted “Russell vs. Rob” battle which never came to be. Redemption Island seems to be sticking around beyond the current season, so I would put it in the sticking column.

The season that wasn’t
The Russell vs. Rob never stuck because they never really faced off. The producers made a bold move by putting the two of them out there as regular contestants, basically dooming Russell and making the head to head never come to pass.

Damn you, Jeff Probst
I did something I haven’t done in ages this week, I watched a show in real time. I never watch TV live. Even sporting events I am a few minutes behind on due to kids, wife, dog, and other distractions. I seldom answer the phone during football games and if I do I always answer with, “I’m ten minutes behind, don’t say anything about the game.” I watch TV this way for several reasons, not the least of which is I’ve invested a small fortune in HD Tivo’s with lifetime subscriptions on them, so I’ll use them. A more important reason is I have to go back, and back again, and back yet again to try to figure out what the fuck someone said. Closed captioning is great, but only when they actually caption EVERYTHING SAID. So I watched Survivor live. Why? Because Jeff Probst asked me to. Was it worth it? Absolutely. It added a neat layer in addition to the show, but I would pose a suggestion to the man in blue. Have CBS broadcast your tweets on CC2. It would allow people to watch the show, get the tweets without constantly shifting back and forth between a TV and a laptop. Will I do it again? Probably, which sucks because it means I have to watch commercials. Damn you Probst.

Editing
Two things jumped out at me from the editing today. Number one: which tribe would lose. Much too much time was spent with the tribe that lost, a disproportionate amount (I think), which told me who would lose. Number two: who would go home. Sarita didn’t get much air time compared to Stephanie and I think she’s (Sarita) had a bigger presence in earlier shows. Editors always give the bootee some time, but not always enough time to the booty.

Redemption Island Changes Things
Normally (every season before today) if a person was the second voted out they became nothing but a footnote for that season, not even having the claim of being the first boot. Redemption island has changed this drastically. Matt is one of the few very fleshed out castaways this season and he had his torch snuffed before the paint was dry on the Redemption Island set.

Redemption Island poses questions
Question 1: When will Matt (or whoever) get back into the game. I’ve heard theories (I’ve purposely avoided spoilers this season by not reading certain message boards or talking to Russel Hantz) that the person is “redeemed” back into the game as the last member of the final five. This poses one significant problem: They are on the jury, but if they don’t make the finals, they might not know the final two or three hardly at all.

Question 2: Do people get paid based on when their torch is snuffed or when they throw their buff onto the fire? At this point Matt has lasted almost to the jury stage, will his payment reflect this, or will he get second bootee payment?

Question 3: How many episodes are there going to be this season? Right now we are six episodes in and no one has quit, leaving 12 people still “in the game.” If you account for the two people on Redemption Island there are actually still 14 people left. Assuming a one person out per week (how would a double vote out work, will the duel at RI contain three people with only one winner?) scenario, to get down to a final three there would have to be 9 more episodes, which would push the season to 15, possibly 16 depending on how the RI turnover is handled.

Question 4: Will the powers that be realize that the show is too dense right now and should be moved to a 90 minute or two hour format in the future? The show feels incredibly compressed and the RI stuff takes up a lot of time so the show has no filler, but even more it feels like there are pieces of the puzzle that are not there.

Not Question 5: Dalton Ross commented something very astute about Redemption Island. The ability to get back in the game does kind of remove some of the oomph from snuffing of the torch. I think it works, but he’s right that it is not as dramatic or as meaningful.

How about I actually talk about the show?
There are two tribes: Tribe (not)Russell and Tribe (I <3) Rob. They are pretty stark contrasts for a number of reasons. Tribe Russell had it all. The power, the fame, the women, but they got greedy. Russell had to be gone, and now that tribe is on the slide. Redemption Island will probably actually play a factor in the end game. Tribe Rob was in trouble, a lot of trouble. They had an easy first boot, weakened the team with the second, then had an easy third boot. This game looks like it was actually engineered for Rob to win. He has a team of a wingman, two women that do his bidding, a woman that potentially might cause him problems, and an insane former federal agent. Rob has to screw up to not make the finals because his team is so pro-Rob they make Probst look anti-Rob.

The challenge
I remember this challenge from a long time ago, from Thailand I believe. It was (oddly enough) a guy named Robb with more jewelry in his face than will be buried with Elizabeth Taylor. Robb dominated that (reward) challenge and was later that episode rewarded with his team voting him off. In this season any question that the momentum had shifted disappeared and it was a 5-0 skunking of team Rob over team Russell. The alpha male showdown between Grant and Mike was as much of a battle as the aforementioned Russell/Rob thing, except that it actually happened. Grant actually proved that beyond being Rob’s lapdog, he is a great competitor. The reward was a meal and actually raised an interesting Rob subplot. Having the idol, what do you do with clues to the idol you already have? There are two paths he could take, string along one, or string along all. He already has Grant in his back pocket, so I think Rob would further cement his status with the others (and possibly bring Andrea further back into the fold) by sharing the worthless clue. He chose to stick with stringing along Grant and got caught by the crazy Secret Agent man. This might be the first crack in Rob’s gameplay, but more on that with who can win.

The losers have a choice
Stephanie or Sarita? Who do you choose? Honestly arguments could be made both ways, but the fact that the argument was there at all and that it was discussed could be the death-knell for Team Russell. David has a bug up his ass about Sarita, and any chance of him hiding it is long gone. Had the team voted for Stephanie like David wanted I think both David and Stephanie would have defected for Team Rob. Now that David didn’t get his way I think David will defect all on his own. David has the best shot of anyone on team Russell to make it all the way. By keeping Sarita you have someone who is scorned and doesn’t feel appreciated. Given the fact that she is seen as weak will help her if I’m correct and the merge is next week.

Who can win?
Matt: If he makes it off of Redemption Island and survives one tribal council back in the “real game” he will win it all. He will have a huge target, but if he makes it to the end I don’t think you can not give it to him. However, the show has seen undeserving winners in the past.

Stephanie: I like her, but she played her hand too fast. By jumping on Team Russell so quickly she fell out of favor with her tribe and now needs to beat Captain Bible to stay alive. If she had survived this week I would have said she could go all the way. Now, she won’t make it off Redemption Island.

Andrea: One of the few people on Team Rob (male or female) that wouldn’t gladly fellate Rob if he whipped it out. If Matt makes it back in she will go far and could win it all.

Ashley: Shouldn’t win. Can’t win. She’s Purple Kelly minus the quitting.

David: If he plays his cards right (and I think he will) he will flop at the merge, take out Rob shortly there after and pull a Cesternino except he will make it to the end. I pick him as the winner. Plus the fact that we haven’t seen more of him as yet makes me think there is more of his onion to be revealed. If he makes the finals I expect him to give the best finals speech ever. A guy I’d like to play like.

Grant: Very physical competitor. Not a good game player. He’s Rob’s lackey. If Rob is cut within a episode or two of the merge he can go deep. I don’t think he’ll make the finals.

Julie: Doesn’t seem to understand the game completely. Will probably be one of the first Team Russell women picked off solely due to her size. Can’t win.

Mike: The first to go after the merge. Can’t win.

Phillip: If he makes it to the merge he will be top five, if not top three. He can’t win, but everyone will want to take him to the end.

Ralph: Second to go after the merge and will leave with the idol in his pocket. Reminds me of Rupert, and not in a good way. Can’t win.

Rob: I don’t particularly care for the guy. I think he’s over rated. He was a douche in Marquesas. He played an awesome game in All-Stars (and should have won), came ill-prepared to Heroes vs. Villains and appeared to be playing the old game vs. the new game. This time around he was dealt a sweet hand. If I was up against any returning players I would want them out. Period. Wouldn’t matter if I liked them or not. They had their shot. It’s my turn. However he is playing well and no one seems to have wised up to the fact that he is playing them. If he makes the finals he wins. However, he won’t make the finals…I hope.

Sarita: If she survives next week she goes really deep, top 5, possible top 3. As a non-threat she is a good person to have around. Could make the finals. Won’t win if she does.

Steve: Age is a bitch. It must be humbling to have been a professional athlete for over a decade, but not be able to compete with people now. Not the greatest personality, but will probably be the last of the Team Russell to be booted because he is not a threat. Can’t win.


Epilogue: 300 hours for 1

Probst tweeted that they film 300 hours for every hour of footage. I am taking hour to mean episode. How does that break down? Figure pillar to post an episode is 72 hours (3 days). Subtract 15 hours for 5 hours of pretty much nothing going on (sleeping at night) and you are starting with 30 hours of footage (even though nothing is going on you have to have one camera on at each camp all the time). So starting with a base of 30, you have 57 hours to account for the other 270. That’s roughly 4.75 camera hours for every hour that occurs. I would think that was light because they absolutely must have two cameras at each camp the entire time. That leaves less than one full “floater camera” to be operating at a time. I’m guessing that they probably don’t film some of the time (the van ride to tribal council) and a few other things so that might actually be right. Probst would know (if he’d tell is another thing.)

Monday, March 14, 2011

What you've missed


Let there be Richard

Ten plus years ago (my god has it been that long) Mark Burnett captured lightning in a bottle. Taking an idea from Charlie Parsons, Burnett pitched this idea to several networks, and much like American Idol, most of the networks passed. Eventually the idea landed at CBS and it became a juggernaut. The Survivor phenomenon was huge for a while, but unlike other phenoms something amazing happened with it, it leveled off. Most things that are huge (see The Apprentice for both a reality TV and Mark Burnett tie in) don’t level off. They go from being huge to crashing, drawing numbers much more fitting of a UPN or cable channel. Survivor has gotten into a grove where it varies ratings-wise, but still delivers consistent numbers and eyeballs. Much of this was due to Richard Hatch. He seemed to be the only person that understood the game from day one. Much of Survivor’s success and the way the game is played is due to the foresight of the fat naked gay guy (thanks Rudy!).

And then there was Rupert
Pearl Islands brought us the lovable hippie with self-esteem issues. If you have ever read this blog before you know I’m not the biggest Rupert fan. He was great in the beginning, the stealing of the shoes was fantastic, but based on what happened later I think it was an aberration rather than a true trait of his. Rupert was a fascinating figure, but had an incredible edit, and had a sense of entitlement about the game, being the first (I believe) Survivor to claim that the game was his. I remember him almost coming to blows with Johnny Fairplay about voting for him. How dare someone do that? Rupert was the first Survivor that I openly heard people say they were done with the show because he got voted off. Never the less Rupert is one of a handful of reality TV alumnus that is instantly recognizable.

My god, it’s full of stars
Survivor 10 was the first of many times that the cast featured returning players. It stands unique in that it was the first time that players returned, and also in that it set the stage for returning players changing who they are. Boston Rob was an also ran in Maquesas, not making the jury. He was a character, which probably got him his spot, but much like his now-wife, he was a question mark for being on the show. It was one the most obvious examples of the right person not winning, and the fact that even seasoned (intentional) veterans let hurt feelings overpower what respect they should have for the game.

I missed it by “this much”
Survivor Micronesia, or Fans vs. Favorites, or half ASS (all star survivor) holds a special place in my cold black heart for several reasons, not the least of which were my conversations with Erika Shay, Lynne S. and others regarding this season before it happened, only to be left wanting. Anyway…this season showed that people are idiots. I’m not talking about ice cream scoopers giving away the game, but more about how being star struck makes you forget why you’re there. By the time you are on the beach and Jeff says, “Welcome to Survivor” you have already invested probably six months in the game from the time you sent in your app (unless you were found at a gas station in LA, but don’t get me started on that). Even pushing 40, six months is a substantial investment. You should have your eye on the prize. I’m guessing that neither the returning players nor the newbies knew what the swerve was for the season, so on the one hand they are all surprised. Still, in the game it would only be “fair” if everyone starts out with “all other things being equal”. The inequity, in my mind, comes from there must be a certain acclimation period before you are actually used to the fact that you are actually on Survivor, and you start just playing the game. Any new players had a major disadvantage. However if I was a non-returning player I would have done any and everything in my power to make sure a newbie won, even if it wasn’t me. They had their shot, it’s our time now.

And a troll will lead them

Using troll in the header is misleading. I love Russell. I think he is one of the best players ever, and also one of the worst. If you go back and read my blogs from his two seasons you will see that I felt he was his own worst enemy with some of his decisions. At the same time, there has never been a player that amazed me as much as he did. The idols, the power plays, coming from behind. It was shock, after shock, after shock. All the way until the end Russell was entertaining and shocking, with the topper being the shock that he didn’t win. I would have bet cash money that he was going to win, but I couldn’t find anyone to take that bet.

Again, really?

No, I’m not talking about bringing people back for the fourth time (I excluded Stephanie and Bobbie John’s retread), but rather who won Heroes vs. Villains. As much as I hate to admit it, Sandra does have a great strategy. Not one I would reward, but one that really works to the tune of 1.4 million bucks (accounting for taxes). This iteration of returning players was interesting because it had players that had played 18 or 19 seasons ago. Everybody could know everybody except Russell. This was an advantage for Russell as we’d see two seasons later, but was also a disadvantage as there were already alliances in place made outside the game. The interesting thing was watching a stud from season two (Colby) showing that ten years had slowed him, and that he had not kept up with the game since his last outing. The final three contained two of the best players ever, and the only two time winner. Once again hurt feelings overcame respect for the game and Parv. or Russell was robbed. If I was ever on the show the first night around the camp fire I would work in a conversation about winning, asking if there were two people, one who you liked but was just there, and one you didn’t like but played the game well, who would you vote to win. I would then try to quickly eliminate those who would vote for the friend (without throwing any challenges, because that is dumb).

Lets talk about THE MEDALLION OF POWER
Actually let’s forget it ever happened…next.

The third time wasn’t the charm
Rob v. Russell sounded like a good idea. I’m sure it did. However by placing them in separate tribes you never really got the head to head competition. Statistically Russell is still better than Rob, but we’ll see how this game shakes out. If you look at the two of them Russell and Rob really aren’t that different in how they play. If you look at Rob’s “betrayal” of Lex in All-Stars, it’s not that different than what Russell had done. Rob had a MUCH better social game. Russell played a much better strategic, manipulation game. Coming into this game both Rob and Russell had an advantage. They knew that they were going to be playing against newbs. That gave them a slight leg up. However, the main thing for this season was the prejudice against Russell. Much like being an unknown in HvV gave him a slight edge, being a known in this go round pretty much put a nail in his coffin before the game started. From day one it was a waiting game of when his tribe lost for when he’d go home. I don’t think he helped his cause at all, but he scrambled and tried to make do with what he had. The episode of his torch getting snuffed was engaging and right until the last second I thought Julie would flip. Honestly I think that would have been the better move for her, but we’ll see. Watching Russell break down and cry after losing at Redemption Island reminded me of the breakdown that Rob had in HvV. It made me respect them for the fact that they realized how lucky they are to be playing this game and what it meant for them. I don’t think Russell has a future in Survivor because people will always want to get rid of him first. He has, in my mind, replaced Rob C. as the best player not to win.

Redemption Island
I still don’t know what to make of it. On the one hand, the Russell Matt challenge was exciting, but it makes the show seem very busy. Maybe a 90 minute or two hour Survivor format is needed to accommodate all the extra stuff going on. I’m not sold on it yet, but I think it might work. I’d like it to be something that isn’t a given going forward, maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t. I think knowing beforehand (before the game starts) that there will be a RI changes the strategy a bit. I loved exile island and would love for it to return.

Lastly
A season with Russell and Rob would be bad enough, but adding in Secret Agent Man has left the remaining cast with little air time. Four episodes in a lot of the cast has not been fleshed out, hopefully this is not a cast of Purple Kellys. I fault Rob’s tribe for being star struck. A quarter of the way in his tribe should be figuring out how to hasten Rob’s exit, not how to keep him around. Obviously they are not winning challenges with him, losing him now will help them later. Any experience he’s brought has not translated into victories, their only victory being a thrown challenge. I do appreciate his gameplay this time, adapting his style, but I don’t think he has a shot at winning. As a three time player, I would be convinced to get rid of him as soon as possible. Do you really think the tribe would be weaker with Matt there instead of him. Right now I don’t have enough info to pick a winner other than to say I think it will be a woman from Russell’s tribe, but not one of his two girls.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Two Oscar Front Runners and one other

In the last week I have watched both ‘The Social Network’ and ‘Inception.’ Both movies are goodish, neither of them blew me away, but one is the better of the two (at least for me).


"The Social Network"


I didn’t really know what the plot of the movie was going in, other than it was about Facebook and its creator. I don’t know much about Mark Zuckerburg and I don’t know how accurately the movie reflects him and the events that transpired, but if it is close I like him. Why? Let me explain.

Mark Zuckerburg is a douche

I mean that in the most complimentary way. Some of my best friends would fall quite nicely under the moniker of douche, or the more often used douche-bag. This is not an indictment on who they are, it is just a reflection of who they are. The thing about Zuckerburg that I really enjoyed is the fact that he is openly hostile to the proceedings he is involved in. I love the honestly that he displays when dealing with the lawyer regarding his attention. The fact that the court case against him (in his mind) is without merit and the fact that he has more important items to deal with while being deposed shows a kind of dickishness that I wish I posessesd.

Money means nothing

One of the overwhelming themes through-out the movie is that Zuckerburg doesn’t care about money. At all. Of course being a student at Harvard there are doubts to whether a lack of money was ever an issue to him. Beyond that when he is in the courtroom he is approaching (or already has attained) billionaire status so it is kind of disingenuous for him to talk about how money means nothing. Kind of like a rich person spouting that money can’t buy happiness, you have to wonder how little money would matter to him if his net worth was in the hundreds rather than the hundreds of millions strata.

A girl will lead them

I think the thing that I enjoyed more than anything else is that this whole enterprise, this worldwide phenomenon, this amazing thing that has captured the world’s attention was, at its base, spurred on because some girl pissed him off. I think everyone in IT has had the moment where a relationship went sideways. Most of us got drunk. He, instead, set off a chain of events that now allows me to get friend requests from girls that wouldn’t talk to me in high school.

A let down

A long time ago I wrote a script called “Magnet and Steel”. It is actually one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, a nice tale about a geekish high-school Senior and his quest to win the love of the new girl at school. Of all the feedback I’ve received on it, the most common thread is “It just ends…what happened to…” That is the problem I had with the movie. I really wish it went on for another half an hour and the items that are summarized in closing title cards actually played out on screen. I was left wanting for more, which in a way, speaks to the quality of the film.


Sony can blow me

A special FU goes out to Sony for making this Blu-Ray disc unplayable on my Playstation 3. A second FU goes out to Sony for making it impossible for me to watch a ripped version of this movie on my Playstation 3…Thank FSM for the 360.


"Inception"


I walked into “Inception” (walked into my bedroom and put it in the aforementioned PS3) knowing that it was something about dreams and there was some uncertainty by viewers who had seen it before me regarding what was real and what was a dream. I knew that, and that it starred Leo DiCaprio, who I have a hard time seeing as an adult, no matter what stubble appears on his cherubic face.

What is Inception?


The idea that you can go into people’s dreams, create worlds, etc. is interesting. The changed idea of what happens when you die in a dream was also interesting. Even more intriguing was the idea of inception, that is the idea of implanting a thought in the sub-conscious within a dream that the dreamer will believe is their actual thought.

Who is this chick?


I think one of the most damning things about the movie for me was I spent a good portion of the time trying to remember where I knew the architect from. This became a constant nag in my mind, which means that the film never completely engrossed me. By a weird twist of fate I didn’t have my Ipad handy so IMDB wasn’t immediately available and I couldn’t figure it out until after the movie was over. She was the knocked up chick in Juno.

A dream within a dream within…


The rules they laid out for the dream world, the attacking of the subject’s subconscious, etc. were interesting, if somewhat convoluted. The whole idea of how time exists and the concept of being lost within the dream are interesting.

Finally

Was it real? Experts will tell you both yes and no, and there is supporting evidence for both. I usually love a movie that ends with some ambiguity, but this movie seems like it just missed the mark. For me it was entertaining, but not the earth-shattering thing everyone led me to believe.


“Robin Hood” reboot

It sucked.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Nostalgia – Looking through Rose-Colored Glasses

I originally titled this “Nostalgia, rose-colored glasses that makes shit not stink”, but then I realized that the title ends up as the title bar in Firefox, or IE (if you’re a noob), or Safari (if you’re a douche/mac-user), so as a service to the ones of you that may peruse this, I changed it for you.

Recently there was an announcement that all six Star Wars movies will be released on Blu-Ray. Along with any Star Wars related news there is always much gnashing of teeth regarding how much the Prequel trilogy sucks, how George Lucas raped your childhood, etc. I could write a lengthy blog regarding why the Prequel trilogy stands up fairly well with the original trilogy, placing two of the three in the top four spots. I’ll give you a hint, the worst is Episode II, and the second worst (blasphemy approaching) is Episode IV. But I’m not going to rehash the Star Wars argument, because nobody will win the argument, it will just back and forth (Jar Jar sucks, Ewoks suck, etc.)

The thing is special effects are so different from era to era, and frankly are even quite different three years down the road, so at the end of the day it is the story that defines a work as good or not. This is why TOS of Star Trek holds up today. The special effects are pretty much anything but, but the stories hold up. The Wrath of Khan has some spectacular effects, but some terrible ones also, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is light years beyond any other Trek movie.

This isn’t about Star Wars or Star Trek though; this is about something that stretches back much further (sort of, but not exactly). This is about Buck Rogers, specifically Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

I remember seeing the Buck Rogers reboot (it was a reboot with source material going far back into the early 20th century) in a theater. Star Wars was still a hot property, and was just Star Wars, and wasn’t yet Episode IV. Action figures were flying off the shelves and movie and television companies were scrambling to pick up some of the scraps from the Star Wars table, which had hungry fans that couldn’t wait for Splinter of the Mind’s Eye (the thought to be title of the second Star Wars film, based on a novel by Alan Dean Foster). It was different than Star Wars; even my six year old brain knew it at the time. Kind of like how my Kmart shoes with a similar swoosh were not Nikes, this was not the same thing.

It wasn’t terrible to my mind, but that is probably because I was distracted. I was distracted by the wealth of flesh on display. Unlike Star Wars, which wouldn’t go into fetish territory until slave Leia entered the masturbatory fantasies of many men (young and old) in 1983, Buck Rogers had somewhat clad women front and center. Erin Gray became a pin-up model, which makes me think of Twiki uttering “Bidi-bidi-bidi, shave that bush, Wilma” as Doctor Theopolis winces unapprovingly.

The movie did well enough to garner a television series. The difference between movie and television is, in hind-sight, staggering. There is one shot of a Earth Defense Directorate ship firing directly towards the viewer which has appeared no less than two dozen times in the eight episodes I have managed to get through. There are also some really obvious continuity problems. These are not Trek geek continuity problems like “Transwarp drive wasn’t invented until the Excelsior was completed.” No, these are continuity problems where they are on a different planet, but use an establishing shot that has been used many, many times as New Chicago. In one scene two fighters (which were cool as hell by the way) and a freighter take off. The next shot shows four fighters, the next a fighter and a freighter. Who was editing this? Helen Kellar?

What does this have to do with nostalgia? I fondly remember watching Buck Rogers on television. Perhaps this was due to the complete lack of Sci-Fi back during my formative years, or perhaps I was just a stupid kid. The show isn’t bad, it’s horrible. Really, really bad. It’s not the special effects that make it bad, it’s not the costumes that make it bad (hell the flesh on display is one of the redeeming items), it is just so poorly done. Plus it is a who’s who of oldey time actors. I don’t mean, old now, I mean old then. Buster Crabbe pops up in an early episode as does Peter Graves. It was odd hearing him talk about Gladiator movies in the 25th century. Still waiting for Gary Coleman to show up and talk about his new kidney.

What does all this mean? It means that television, movies, etc. are really no better nor any worse than any other time in history. Each era has it’s crap. Just because something is old doesn’t make it good. Just because something is new doesn’t make it bad. It just is.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

This won't end well

This isn’t going to be a pretty blog. It will be judged by people who read it. All I ask is that you read the whole thing. One of the first scripts I ever wrote was called “Your Word Against Mine”, and it is long…damn long. When you’re reading it you will think, “this is one of the most offensive things I’ve ever read”, but, and this is a big but, the last two pages change all of it, and it becomes thought-provoking instead of offensive, or at least that’s what I tell myself when I cry myself to sleep at night. Hopefully this blog will also have some thought provoking.

Why there will never be equality

Because people don’t want there to be. I’m not talking about racists, or misogynists, or homophobes, I’m talking about the people that are in the class they perceive to be bigoted against. That’s not say that certain “isms” don’t exist, as they do, but some of that is self perpetuated.

When Obama was elected President I was actually surprised. I was surprised that the country had come as far as they have to be able to elect a non-white to the highest position in the land. It was viewed as a landmark election, electing an African American as President. But even then, in the afterglow of the election there were rumblings about when a “total” African American would be elected, that being one that had no none black blood in his genealogy.

There are stories I read (frequently) about varying standards on tests or needed accreditation for something or another. One I read recently was if you were of a non-Caucasian persuasion you needed to achieve a score of 22 (or something, I don’t remember the specifics) in order to get into a gifted program. If you were white you needed to get a 25. Gifted is gifted, by applying a race-based sliding scale you are both discriminating against one group and insulting another. One saying you need to do better to be considered gifted, the other saying gifted for “your group” is less. What does this say about the powers that be and their thought process? Another example, and this is one of my favorites, is the test to become a fireman. I think any sane person could see that firemen, excuse me firepeople, serve an important role when they are called upon to do their jobs. However the test, much of which is based on physical ability, is different for men and for women. I think the idea of wanting females in any workplace is laudable, but that will be of little solace to the person that a female firefighter cannot carry out of a burning building.

Clubs, colleges, parades and pride


I think the header is pretty self-explanatory, but how many clubs are there that are for women? For gay people? For different ethnicities? Try starting one of those for white men and see how far you get. Same thing goes for colleges (military colleges was a great law case during my life time), and parades and pride days kind of go without saying. Recently someone was lambasted for saying something positive about straight marriage (not saying anything at all, positive or negative, about gay marriage) saying that they were a homophobe.

I try to look at people as people. Don’t care about your color, your sex, your orientation, anything like that. It isn’t a second thought in an interview, picking people for a team, or deciding who to hang out with. Honestly there are douche-bags in every group, and I just try to limit them.

A political blog? Really?


No. Of course not. Much has been made this season of The Amazing Race regarding potentially having the “first all female team win the race.” Why does this matter? Apparently it mattered enough to stack the deck with an inordinate number of all female teams. In the past on Survivor much has been made of race. The first black woman to win. The first black man to win. Forming an all “minority alliance.” Does this sound like people want to be treated equally? If a guy said he wanted an all guy team to win, it would be labeled as misogynistic. Wanting an all female team to win? Apparently that’s fine. One of my friends wanted Obama to win the last election. When I asked why he said, “It’s time.” Not “I like his policies”, not “I think he’s the best direction for this country”, no just “It’s time.” I say until people are just people, all people, there will never be anything close to equality, which leads me to the last hard part.

The truth

People aren’t equal. Men and women aren’t equal. Different races aren’t equal either. None of these make one better than another, but may make one of them better for a given job or task. Ask yourself, if you are a captain for a pick-up game of basketball and you don’t know who the players are, all other things being equal, do you pick a black guy or a white guy. Now switch the question to be about hockey. Do these things make you racist? If you’re in college and you’re going to cheat off of someone on an econ exam, who are you going to sit next to? I know a guy who aced all of his econ exams by sitting next to the same Asian guy. If you had to pick someone to be the fastest to walk across a balance beam, would you pick a man or a woman? Nine times out of ten the answers to the above questions (assuming you want to win) are obvious. What does this mean? It means that different groups of people have different skill sets. Generally certain groups are going to be better at certain things than other groups.

Lastly

Men are not equal to other men. Women are not equal to other women, etc, etc. I know that I could stand toe to toe with most men regarding raw intelligence. Brute force, I’m going to struggle a bit. Balance I’m completely fucked. People have labels attached to them because they attach labels to themselves. It’s used both as a source of pride, and as a crutch. Until all of us, as a collective, decide to just be judged (as lady justice is described) blindly, without any preconceived notions we will never be equal...and I think many people are completely fine with that.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I swear there's a point in here somewhere

Spock always used to say, “I like to think that there are possibilities.”

John Bon Jovi sings, “If there’s one thing I hang on to, that gets me through the night. I ain’t gonna do what I do want to, I’m gonna live my life.”

Many a juror on the last episode of Survivor has said, “I played the game honorably, and I can look at myself in the mirror with no regrets” and other bull-shit platitudes about honor, pride, etc.

A co-worker and I were discussing salaries today, and is par for the course I avoided any actual figures when talking about how much I or anyone else makes. My peer raised the idea that you couldn’t find someone to do what he does for the amount he gets paid. I countered with absolutely you can. He then said to bring them in because we need more talented folks. I would if I could, FSM knows I could use the referral bonus, but I don’t know these people that exist. Regarding if they’d do it for x amount of dollars, the simple fact is nearly everyone is overpaid. Not by market value, but by what their true value is. I like to think I’m good at my job, and it is a skill that apparently not everyone can do, but it’s not life or death, it’s not rocket science, and it’s not THAT hard. People that work at McDonalds, a regular restaurant, a grocery store, a gas station all work as hard as I do, there job just doesn’t pay as much.

Life boils down to two basic things. Opportunity and what you do with said opportunity. The opportunities you are presented with are a crap-shoot, often luck based on being in the right place at the right time. There’s a finite amount that you can do to open up additional opportunities, so you have to make the most out of those you get.

I’ve squandered many an opportunity over my lifetime. Blown an interview, been too much of a dork on a date, missed an open net goal, bombed on stage, sold stock early/late, etc. It happens.

There are two types of reality game shows. One which is based on talent and voting by the public (American Idol, America’s Got Talent, Last Comic Standing) and the other based on being voted out by an individual or a group (Big Brother, Survivor, Rock of Love, Hell’s Kitchen, Flavor of Love, The Bachelor, etc.) The Amazing Race doesn’t really fall into either category directly, so I will avoid that for now.

But Matt, you’ve thrown out quotes, anecdotes, nice little theories, but what are you talking about? You seem much more schizophrenic than normal. What is the topic? Are you just wasting my time? Well, yes I am wasting your time, but I do have a point, which as most things (for me) relates back to reality TV.

In a perfect world where everything is fair and nobody gets advantages by the time any person graces my television screen on a show I’m watching they have been through a grueling process. Multiple interviews, tapes, tons of paperwork, drug screens, background checks, etc. From beginning to end of a cycle (first tape to airing of a finale) the total time consumed is more accurately measured in months or fractions of a year than in weeks. This time consists of lots of hurrying up and waiting. Oh the waiting. Is that ring of my cell phone “the call”? Not an unknown caller, so no it’s not. I have a voice mail, could it be? What, you need more paperwork? No problem. It is mentally exhausting thinking if you want it bad enough it will happen. Of course some people are picked up at a gas station the week before Survivor starts filming so this doesn’t apply to everyone.

Remember back there where I talked about the different types of shows? Any show that has a dependency of how others (or other) in your group perceives you puts a spin on how you might and possibly should act. After going through an arduous process to get into the game, why would you choose to not make the effort once the game is afoot?

I’ve often railed on those who get into a game (show) and talk about (or actually go through the act) of quitting. It is an insult. It is an insult to the countless thousands who would kill for your spot. It is an insult to the hundreds that made it past the initial application process. It is maddening to the dozens of finalists that made it to the cusp of being on the show but didn’t quite make the cut. It is also insulting (and possibly career damaging) to the hard working folks in casting that stood behind you in meetings and pitched you as a candidate, saying why you would be good for the show. That being said, I guess on some level I can understand why someone might quit. To a man, everyone that has been on Survivor has said that it is harder than they ever imagined it would be. The lack of food, the draining environment, etc. is almost assuredly harder than I could imagine. However, that still doesn’t make it right. At worst (best) it is roughing it and sticking it out of 39 days for a potential payout of more than many people will make in a lifetime. Suck it up and stick it out.

Last night I saw something that is worse than quitting, something that really blew my mind that someone who was 2/3 through a season of Survivor had never done before. A one in ten shot at a million dollars, surely something worth playing for (to paraphrase Probst), right? Apparently not. For the first time ever someone gave up. Didn’t quit, but just gave up on the game. Not in a traditional way of giving up, but this was unique. This was someone saying that they were better than the game, above the game. Brenda flat out said that she was “above” scrambling. It is something a desperate person would do, she would never scramble, and she would rather be out of the game than scramble. As a multi-time applicant this is worse than quitting. She was all about the game as the game went her way from day one to day twenty-something. As soon as it actually became a challenge she didn’t want to be involved in it anymore. Until last week many posited that she was one of the better players in recent memory. She proved that to be a fallacy last night. The scary thing is she could have won it all if she made it that far. She was cocky, and in many ways reminded me of the pretty girl fresh out of high-school that finds out that good looks will only get you so far. Good riddance.

I think one of the questions on the application should be, “would you quit?” If the answer is “yes”, circular file that bad boy. One of the questions is what would you not do for a million dollars. In the future if the response to that question is I will not be humble, I will not lower myself, I will not scramble, dump that app as well. You are on a reality show for god’s sake. You’re not doing charity work, you’re trying to win a big payout. If you’re not willing to do what you have to do, no matter the personal pride cost, don’t bother applying. Pride is a great thing, it has no place here. It’s a game, if it’s within the rules there is NOTHING I wouldn’t do to stay in if it got me one step closer to making the finals. I can give a closing statement like no one else, so I could do whatever I wanted, if I made the finals, that money is mine.

Who’s left, and who can win?


Sash – Sash and his recently departed cohort committed one of the worst sins of Survivor, the sin of pride, to the point of cockiness. He played well, but I think his time left is on the short end, immunity idol or no. Much like the season when Vecepia won, there came a moment when a few people lower in the pecking order realized that they had numbers, as those calling the shots don’t. Expect him to come in 7th. Won’t win if he makes the finals.

NaOnka – The holder of the other immunity idol. Has played one of the most disastrous social games ever in Survivor history. Stealing socks, stealing food, being real, fighting a person with an artificial leg. From day one she has shown a stunning lack of caring about anyone except herself. Has actually shown a small amount of game play recently. Is in a unique position, because she can’t win, can she? This alone makes her someone to take to the finals, but if she does make the finals, does the fact that she made it overshadow the fact that she’s a terrible person? No. Can’t win. Will get voted out next week, but will play her immunity idol. Will come in 6th.

Benry – Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but a nice enough guy. Is competitive and seems to be having glimmers of gameplay. He is a threat from a competition stand point, so eventually he will be taken out just to level the playing field. Will come in 8th.

Fabio – Holder of the immunity necklace next week (according to the preview if you watch closely), but that might be selective editing. He is smarter than he comes across at first, and is actually starting to put together a pretty solid case for winning the game. However, he will come in 5th. If he makes it to the end, he has a shot to win unless he is up against…

Jane – A tough old lady who is getting a killer edit. Marty had a good point that what she said about his kids was way out of line. If she makes it to the end she will win. She will not make it to the end. She will come in 4th.

Chase – He’s a moron. I don’t know if he’s ever seen Survivor before, but he certainly doesn’t understand the game even if he’s seen it. As he said he’s playing with his heart, which is a good thing, because he doesn’t appear to have a brain. He’s gone next week at number 9.

Purple Kelly – When voting was taking place last night my wife asked me who Purple Kelly would vote for. I told her that Kelly doesn’t get to vote, because I don’t think she’s technically even in the game, kind of like how a student might audit a class, she is auditing Survivor. Her lack of impact or dialogue was always a point of question for me until Jeff asked her a question last night. My god the woman doesn’t have a lot going on upstairs. She might be the least eloquent person ever to play the game and that is saying something. However she is in the top 3.

Holly – Talk about a recovery. She should have been gone in the beginning of the game and she wanted to quit. Now she’s got her second wind and that should carry her far. Her problem is her insistence to talk to everyone. Top 3.

Dan – Rounding out the top 3 is the one person in the game who really doesn’t need the money. Having just sold a house for just under 7 million, the game is a lark for him. As much as you can see he’s struggling, he’s not giving up. Now that the game is individual there is no reason to take him out, and he could make a legitimate case for being named sole survivor for making it to the end when he had a target on his back from day one.

Top 3
Dan, Holly, Purple Kelly
4 – Jane
5 – Fabio
6 – NaOnka
7 – Sash
8 – Benry
9 – Chase
Upon further reflection, Sash and Benry will probably be flopped, but this is my order for now (I have not checked on-line so these are complete guesses). So who wins? Drumroll…
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Holly. From throwing out shoes to cashing a million dollar check, she’s come a long way. And she never felt that she was above scambling, which if nothing else earns some of my respect.