I know nothing. At least when it comes to Survivor. That's what the last episode taught me.
There have now been 19 (aired) iterations of Survivor. In pretty much every season there has been someone who “deserved” to win that was part of the final two (or three.) Of these 19, many, MANY times someone who didn’t deserve to win did. I will break each of them down, then circle back to the travesty that was Survivor Samoa.
Season 1: Survivor (now referred to as Survivor: Borneo)
Finalists: Richard Hatch and Kelly Wigglesworth
Deserved to win: Richard
Won: Richard 4-3
This season is a bit of an outlier because it was the first one, and either one of them had a legitimate claim to being worthy of winning. Richard played a better game, but she still would have been a worthy winner.
Season 2: Survivor: Australia
Finalists: Colby Donaldson and Tina Wesson
Deserved to win: Colby
Won: Tina 4-3
Colby played a good game, won the last immunity challenge and could have taken Keith the cook to the finals and had an easy win. Instead he took Tina, knowing that she might beat him. She did, because she was “nicer” despite not having any game play at all (which was shown again in All-Stars when she was booted first.)
Season 3: Survivor: Africa
Finalists: Ethan Zohn and Kim Johnson
Deserved to win: Ethan
Won: Ethan 5-2
This season was interesting in that the winner deserved to win even though they played an “ethical” game. Played the game tough, but nice, which was weird.
Survivor: Marquesas
Finalists: Vecepia Towery and Neleh Denis
Deserved to win: Neither
Won: Vecepia 4-3
This season was interesting in that neither of the finalists really deserved to win. Of the two Neelah deserved it more, but that’s like saying Manson was better than Hitler. Lots of moves were made this season (which was interesting), but they were participants rather than drivers in the things that took them to the end. This was also the purple rock season.
Survivor: Thailand
Finalists: Brian Heidik and Clay Jordan
Deserved to win: Brian
Won: Brian 4-3
Porno Brian, everybody’s favorite pool boy from Melrose Place (look it up, he was on 2-3 episodes) absolutely deserved to win this season, and honestly was one of the best players ever. Though the season itself gets no love, he dominated both mentally and physically, being the most well-rounded Survivor contestant to this point in its history.
Survivor: The Amazon
Finalists: Jenna Morasca and Matthew Von Ertfelda
Deserved to win: Matthew
Won: Jenna 6-1
In the most lopsided victory yet, I had my most WTF moment. Jenna was nice enough and looked good sans clothes in Playboy, but she didn’t deserve to win. Possibly as a precursor to her All-Stars appearance she almost quit. Matt didn’t play a good mental game (possibly because he was crazy), but he did play a great physical game. Rob C. dominated the mental part of the game and was one of the best players ever not to make the finals
Survivor: Pearl Islands
Finalists: Sandra Diaz-Twine and Lillian Morris
Deserved to win: Neither
Won: Sandra 6-1
For the second time in as many seasons an undeserving person won. She was more undeserving than Jenna, if that was possible. Also for the second time one of the best players ever came in third, Johnny Fairplay, who was great and played the game well for a guy with no muscle tone at all.
Survivor: All-Stars
Finalists: Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich
Deserved to win: Rob
Won: Amber 4-3
Despite dominating the game from pillar to post, Rob lost to his new girlfriend. To Amber’s credit she was viewed as an odd choice to even be selected for All-Stars and she was less of a doormat in her second go round. This rounded out three straight undeserving winners.
Survivor: Vanuatu – Islands of Fire
Finalists: Twila Tanner and Chris Daugherty
Deserved to win: Chris
Won: Chris 5-2
In a return to sanity Chris Daugherty won despite the odds against him being the only man left in the final seven. He would go on to be on American Idol and release a successful album (yes, I know it’s not the same guy.)
Survivor: Palau
Finalists: Tom Westman and Katie Gallagher
Deserved to win: Tom
Won: Tom 6-1
He deserved to win, she didn’t. Enough said.
Survivor: Guatemala – The Maya Empire
Finalists: Danni Boatwright and Stephanie LaGrossa
Deserved to win: Danni
Won: Danni 6-1
Stephanie was quite possibly the most annoying contestant ever. The fact that she got to do this two seasons in a row was interesting, because she was not annoying the first time, but maybe her sense of entitlement kicked in and that’s why I was happy she nearly got swept.
Survivor: Panama – Exile Island
Finalists: Aras Baskausas and Danielle DiLorenzo
Deserved to win: Aras
Won: Aras
From what I remember Aras did well and deserved to win.
Survivor: Cook Islands (aka Racist Survivor)
Finalists: Yul Kwon, Ozzy Lusth, and Becky Lee
Deserved to win: Toss-up between Yul and Ozzy
Won: Yul 5-4-0
In the first season to have three finalists, there were two deserving people. Yul played a better mental game, Ozzy dominated in the water in challenges. I don’t remember Becky at all, but I think she was carried by her tribe.
Survivor: Fiji
Finalists: Earl Cole, Cassandra Franklin, and Dre Herd
Deserved to win: Earl
Won: Earl 9-0-0
In a season that introduced Yau-Man, Earl was the other half of that dominating alliance. Dreamz is remembered for promising to give over immunity in exchange for a car and not doing it. The first clean sweep was deserved.
Survivor: China
Finalists: Todd Herzog, Courtney Yates, and Amanda Kimmel
Deserved to win: Todd
Won: Todd 4-2-1
Todd played an incredible mental game, despite not having physical tools. Courtney was incredibly inept and could not cut a rope. Amanda gave her first of two embarrassingly bad final tribal council speeches.
Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites
Finalists: Parvati Swallow and Amanda Kimmel
Deserved to win: Amanda, kind of
Won: Parvati 5-3
This is the only version of Survivor where I think that how poorly someone did at the final tribal council drastically changed the outcome. This season was interesting because of how holier than thou the returning Survivors acted, and how they were kind of stuck up bitches (including the men.) Includes the stupidest move ever (giving up individual immunity and getting booted immediately.)
Survivor: Gabon – Earth’s Last Eden
Finalists: J.T. Thomas and Stephen Fishback
Deserved to win: J.T.
Won: J.T. 7-0
J.T. dominated physically. Stephen did play a decent mental game, but despite being a lawyer he fumbled away any chance he had at winning (which was slim to start with) with an embarrassing performance at the final tribal council.
Survivor: Samoa
Finalists: Natalie White, Russell Hantz, and Mick Trimming
Deserved to win: Russell
Won: Natalie: 7-2
What the f*ck? Natalie did nothing other than align herself with Russell and look good in a not-to-practical bikini the entire season. Russell raised the bar for how to play the game, and Mick did well on a physical level. My biggest WTF moment, especially considering the 5 vote difference.
Almost a full third of the people who won shouldn’t have. What does that mean? It means that I don’t know anything about the game of Survivor. Once Russell won the final immunity I thought it was all over except the crying. I would have bet serious money against Natalie winning. I would have given odds. I would have lost it all.
Granted Russell could have given a better speech at tribal, but it was decent. Not mind blowing, but it was decent. The whole “If they outplayed me, vote for them” should have held some weight, but apparently it didn’t. I would be embarrassed if I was on this season, for the simple fact that they let someone that didn’t do anything of note walk away with a million bucks. When anyone asked about Russell lying and backstabbing I would have said, “Who was the first member of the jury? Who put him there? Was he expecting it? You all are just as guilty as me of lying; I just did it better and more often.”
Here’s what I would do if (when) I get on the show. The very first night I would sit around the campfire with my tribe mates and lay out a hypothetical situation. Two people are in the finals. A nice person who didn’t win any challenges or a person who played the game hard, but might have lied to or betrayed you. I would take note of the responses. Anyone who picked the nice person would not get to the jury if I had any say in it.
At the final tribal council I would be honest and lay out how I lied, was duplicitous, and why I did it. I would point out how the people that were standing there with me were there at my will, not because of anything they did. I would also point out why the others did not deserve to win. I would appeal to their pride. I would point out that it was a game and compare it to playing poker. I was there to win, what were they there for. If they weren’t there to win, why did they even play? It drives me insane when people talk about playing the game ethically. When asked if I would have done anything differently, I would say no. I was willing to do any and everything to put me in the finals. Regarding how I can look at myself in the mirror? I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't give it my all. It's a game, it's not life. I'm not the nicest guy in real life, but on Survivor I would be the asshole I have to be to win. And with that, I would pocket a million dollars, but once again, what do I know?
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
The worst people in the world
Democrats...I kid, I kid. No, the worst people in the world (and this isn't some kind of faux award like that douche-bag Keith Olbermann gives out) are the cast of The Shore. It might actually be The Jersey Shore, but if you know what I'm talking about the exact title is immaterial.
Stereotypes exist. Racial profiling exists. Neither of those things is hard to believe. It is hard to believe that the people on this mTV show are for real, but at the same time I know they are. Nobody could fake being that terrible of a person. Perhaps my advancing age has skewed my perspective of things, but I don’t remember anyone growing up (or currently) that is such a caricature. Calling these people superficial and/or vain would be an insult to superficial and vain people.
Let’s break them down (or at least a few of them):
The Situation: I’ve known people (myself included) that have jokingly given themselves incredibly douchey nicknames. The simple fact is it was always done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. This jackass refers to himself in the 3rd person more than Rickey Henderson. Granted the dude has a six pack that I would kill for, but he is so shallow if he was a puddle he wouldn’t even get you wet. Karma (was it for the sake of irony that one of the most visited clubs on the show has this name) is a bitch. After his posturing regarding how he can have any woman he wants, he gets one-upped by someone else in the house. His pouted should have given him some depth and almost made him a tragic character, but the only tragedy is that he exists as he is. The funny thing is as guys go he’s really not an attractive dude. Roided up (allegedly) and cut, but he’s got a face for radio.
Ronnie: Actually the one somewhat decent guy on the show. He seems to have (a little) character and integrity, but he brings up one of the major flaws of the show and many of their ilk. They are but a few days in and already they are talking about “best friends” and how they “love each other” and are family. Not to mention how he and Sammi are so in love so early. The one not completely tainted character in a rougues’ gallery of masturbatory self-love.
Paulie: Hasn’t gotten as much air time as the two above. Loves himself to the extent that he says that boys should check their girlfriends when he’s around. Hooks up with JWow. Shows off his Prince Albert. I hate the fact that I know this guy’s penis is pierced. Would be nothing but a day player in this drama if it wasn’t for:
Vinny: Is this guy even on the show. I’ve been on the show more than him and I’ve never been to the Jersey shore.
Guys in general (on the show): If you spend this much time tanning, lifting, lip glossing, cutting your hair (daily), preening, and talking about yourself buy a gun. If you do, I’ll pay for the bullets.
Angelina: She’s no longer on the show, but she was interesting in that she (more than the others) really got on a high-horse about not having whores at the house, and took joy in cock-blocking the dudes. I knew she was going to be something special (not in a good way) when she said, “I’m a bartender, I do great things.” I have nothing against anyone and the professions that they choose, but being a bartender does not mean you do great things. Doctors, inventors, authors, etc. may do great things. Bartenders may make a great drink, but great things, I don’t think so. The fact that she was on a high horse about stuff made it all the more interesting when it came out that she was dating a married man. She was 100% natural, but also 100% hypocrite. “Cheating or hooking up is when you have sex with someone, everything else is okay.” Let me run that by my wife and see if she agrees with you…one slap later, no, you’re wrong. Her refusal to work for a free house for the summer speaks volumes to who she is.
Sammi: The woman in the love triangle. I know that editing allows the shapers of a program to rearrange time and can have a participant say something out of sequence or take a phrase out of context, but still, does these people forget that they did or said something? Her about face on which guy she was going to be with was very telling, especially when she went off about how she was never into “the situation”. Hello, we saw what you said/did. Do all of these people constantly black out and not remember what they did? Her explanation for macking on TS (the situation) on the after show is a great example of a larger underlying problem. “Of course I kissed you. You were kissing me, so it was easier to kiss you back.” That is wrong on so many levels and sends the wrong message to both men and women. It says that it is okay to force yourself on someone, and it also says that you should just take it. Way to represent women!
JWow: Who gives themselves that nickname? Nice hair, idiot. Your hair looks like some kind of weird animal pelt. She has the fake boobies and REALLY likes to show them off. She is constantly saying, “I have these!” on a non-verbal level. I wondered about the people that went into this show with significant others, how they would deal with it. It took her all of two days to start cheating, and yes it is cheating. My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t do it with your SO watching, then it is cheating. Her proclamation that she is going to be trouble now that she is single and that she spent the last year as a nun makes me wonder what nuns really live like. I was unaware that nuns are usually checking out the packages of men that they just met after drunkingly dry-humping them earlier in the night. You learn something new everyday.
Snookie: This girl is the triple-threat. Desperate, stupid, and horny. She wants to be loved so badly that she will love any and everyone. She defines attention-whore. She needs to be the center of the situation (not “the situation), and when she’s not, she pouts. Her need of attention means that she will latch on (both figuratively and literally) to any person, of any gender, that happens to be in her proximity. She’s kind of like an Ewok. Short, and not thin. Cute in a non-threatening way. There is a blankness in her eyes that is probably a result of an IQ that resides somewhere south of the Mendoza line. I know that doesn’t translate directly, but if you don’t get it, Wikipedia is your friend. More or less it’s a nice way of saying her and Forest Gump would be in a dead heat on Jeopardy. However, of all the women, she is by far the most likeable. I don’t see a viciousness or a cattiness in her that I see in the others. Of course there has to be a reason why she gets sucker punched in an upcoming episode.
The women: They all seem to be oblivious to the fact that if they weren’t on the show they would probably be the “whores and sluts” that they deride constantly. Their belief in their superiority is as thin as most of the clothing they wear.
What’s up with the tattoos? There’s more ink on the bodies in that house than there is in the average Harry Potter or Steven King book.
There have been protests and complaints about this show. However, the people that the offended parties should be talking to is not the network (who have struck gold with this train-wreck, much watch show), but with the fact that this culture exists. I don’t think mTV would dare have a “Compton” show where they would show the self-proclaimed gangsta’s because it would immediately be branded as racism. I know the show is edited, characters are shaped, etc., but the simple fact is that mTV is playing the fly on the wall here, and what the wall sees is not good. But it is entertaining. Trashy, aiming for the lowest common denominator, but entertaining for sure.
This show makes me think about the theory of the cycle of poverty. Some people from the inner-city are born into the welfare system, and by the choices they make and the few opportunities they have, they become the next generation living the same way. These kids (I know they're adults, but they are still children on most mental levels) will end up marrying each other. Maybe not the other people on the show, but people like them, and they will bring in the next generation. Which is sad...and scary.
I know that if I ever got on a reality show I would most likely come off poorly. That would be in no small part my fault, because if I’m competing for $1 million I will do and say whatever it takes to make it through (nod to Degrassi). Even if I would come off as a total tool, I would not be casting an entire ethnic group or cultural heritage back centuries, just myself. That is something I could and would happily live with (as I count my money which I’d ask for in singles so I could roll around in it.)
Stereotypes exist. Racial profiling exists. Neither of those things is hard to believe. It is hard to believe that the people on this mTV show are for real, but at the same time I know they are. Nobody could fake being that terrible of a person. Perhaps my advancing age has skewed my perspective of things, but I don’t remember anyone growing up (or currently) that is such a caricature. Calling these people superficial and/or vain would be an insult to superficial and vain people.
Let’s break them down (or at least a few of them):
The Situation: I’ve known people (myself included) that have jokingly given themselves incredibly douchey nicknames. The simple fact is it was always done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. This jackass refers to himself in the 3rd person more than Rickey Henderson. Granted the dude has a six pack that I would kill for, but he is so shallow if he was a puddle he wouldn’t even get you wet. Karma (was it for the sake of irony that one of the most visited clubs on the show has this name) is a bitch. After his posturing regarding how he can have any woman he wants, he gets one-upped by someone else in the house. His pouted should have given him some depth and almost made him a tragic character, but the only tragedy is that he exists as he is. The funny thing is as guys go he’s really not an attractive dude. Roided up (allegedly) and cut, but he’s got a face for radio.
Ronnie: Actually the one somewhat decent guy on the show. He seems to have (a little) character and integrity, but he brings up one of the major flaws of the show and many of their ilk. They are but a few days in and already they are talking about “best friends” and how they “love each other” and are family. Not to mention how he and Sammi are so in love so early. The one not completely tainted character in a rougues’ gallery of masturbatory self-love.
Paulie: Hasn’t gotten as much air time as the two above. Loves himself to the extent that he says that boys should check their girlfriends when he’s around. Hooks up with JWow. Shows off his Prince Albert. I hate the fact that I know this guy’s penis is pierced. Would be nothing but a day player in this drama if it wasn’t for:
Vinny: Is this guy even on the show. I’ve been on the show more than him and I’ve never been to the Jersey shore.
Guys in general (on the show): If you spend this much time tanning, lifting, lip glossing, cutting your hair (daily), preening, and talking about yourself buy a gun. If you do, I’ll pay for the bullets.
Angelina: She’s no longer on the show, but she was interesting in that she (more than the others) really got on a high-horse about not having whores at the house, and took joy in cock-blocking the dudes. I knew she was going to be something special (not in a good way) when she said, “I’m a bartender, I do great things.” I have nothing against anyone and the professions that they choose, but being a bartender does not mean you do great things. Doctors, inventors, authors, etc. may do great things. Bartenders may make a great drink, but great things, I don’t think so. The fact that she was on a high horse about stuff made it all the more interesting when it came out that she was dating a married man. She was 100% natural, but also 100% hypocrite. “Cheating or hooking up is when you have sex with someone, everything else is okay.” Let me run that by my wife and see if she agrees with you…one slap later, no, you’re wrong. Her refusal to work for a free house for the summer speaks volumes to who she is.
Sammi: The woman in the love triangle. I know that editing allows the shapers of a program to rearrange time and can have a participant say something out of sequence or take a phrase out of context, but still, does these people forget that they did or said something? Her about face on which guy she was going to be with was very telling, especially when she went off about how she was never into “the situation”. Hello, we saw what you said/did. Do all of these people constantly black out and not remember what they did? Her explanation for macking on TS (the situation) on the after show is a great example of a larger underlying problem. “Of course I kissed you. You were kissing me, so it was easier to kiss you back.” That is wrong on so many levels and sends the wrong message to both men and women. It says that it is okay to force yourself on someone, and it also says that you should just take it. Way to represent women!
JWow: Who gives themselves that nickname? Nice hair, idiot. Your hair looks like some kind of weird animal pelt. She has the fake boobies and REALLY likes to show them off. She is constantly saying, “I have these!” on a non-verbal level. I wondered about the people that went into this show with significant others, how they would deal with it. It took her all of two days to start cheating, and yes it is cheating. My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t do it with your SO watching, then it is cheating. Her proclamation that she is going to be trouble now that she is single and that she spent the last year as a nun makes me wonder what nuns really live like. I was unaware that nuns are usually checking out the packages of men that they just met after drunkingly dry-humping them earlier in the night. You learn something new everyday.
Snookie: This girl is the triple-threat. Desperate, stupid, and horny. She wants to be loved so badly that she will love any and everyone. She defines attention-whore. She needs to be the center of the situation (not “the situation), and when she’s not, she pouts. Her need of attention means that she will latch on (both figuratively and literally) to any person, of any gender, that happens to be in her proximity. She’s kind of like an Ewok. Short, and not thin. Cute in a non-threatening way. There is a blankness in her eyes that is probably a result of an IQ that resides somewhere south of the Mendoza line. I know that doesn’t translate directly, but if you don’t get it, Wikipedia is your friend. More or less it’s a nice way of saying her and Forest Gump would be in a dead heat on Jeopardy. However, of all the women, she is by far the most likeable. I don’t see a viciousness or a cattiness in her that I see in the others. Of course there has to be a reason why she gets sucker punched in an upcoming episode.
The women: They all seem to be oblivious to the fact that if they weren’t on the show they would probably be the “whores and sluts” that they deride constantly. Their belief in their superiority is as thin as most of the clothing they wear.
What’s up with the tattoos? There’s more ink on the bodies in that house than there is in the average Harry Potter or Steven King book.
There have been protests and complaints about this show. However, the people that the offended parties should be talking to is not the network (who have struck gold with this train-wreck, much watch show), but with the fact that this culture exists. I don’t think mTV would dare have a “Compton” show where they would show the self-proclaimed gangsta’s because it would immediately be branded as racism. I know the show is edited, characters are shaped, etc., but the simple fact is that mTV is playing the fly on the wall here, and what the wall sees is not good. But it is entertaining. Trashy, aiming for the lowest common denominator, but entertaining for sure.
This show makes me think about the theory of the cycle of poverty. Some people from the inner-city are born into the welfare system, and by the choices they make and the few opportunities they have, they become the next generation living the same way. These kids (I know they're adults, but they are still children on most mental levels) will end up marrying each other. Maybe not the other people on the show, but people like them, and they will bring in the next generation. Which is sad...and scary.
I know that if I ever got on a reality show I would most likely come off poorly. That would be in no small part my fault, because if I’m competing for $1 million I will do and say whatever it takes to make it through (nod to Degrassi). Even if I would come off as a total tool, I would not be casting an entire ethnic group or cultural heritage back centuries, just myself. That is something I could and would happily live with (as I count my money which I’d ask for in singles so I could roll around in it.)
Surviving stupidity. Will the best outplay themselves?
It’s all about execution. Russel has played the game better than anyone (including Richard Hatch), yet still made mind bogglingly stupid mistakes. There are also different ways to approach things. I don’t think that I could play the game nearly as well as Russel has, but at the same time there are mistakes he’s made that I would have avoided.
But last night he made a bold play. A play I wouldn’t have made. A better play than I would have made. Sitting down at tribal council he puts the (not so) hidden immunity idol around his neck, removing any shred of doubt that anyone might have had regarding if he had it. I would have played the idol, but by throwing it out there for all to see accomplished something. He called their bluff. By putting it out there he was daring them to vote for him. In doing so he bought himself one more (television) week of safety. He just needs to win A SINGLE immunity challenge and he will be able to float to the finals.
Could you not vote for him if you were on the jury? He’s played a masterful game. Brilliant. Unparalleled, yet flawed in some really dumb ways:
He can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether it be about the fact that he has the hidden immunity idol, or that he’s rich, or whatever he can’t keep good news to himself.
He plays his hand a week too early. In voting out John, and then nearly choosing to vote out Shannon he shoots his load too early, not unlike a teen boy first getting a shot at the goodies. As mentioned before he (and others) aren’t doing the math.
He overplays the game at times. I figured he was destined for an early departure because he was playing so hard so early, but he managed to recover.
Russel has the opportunity to do the one thing I always wanted to do if I was on Survivor: give an honest final tribal council speech. Lay it all out. Come clean about how you played everyone, and how they were just pawns in YOUR chess match. If I was on the jury, it would be something I would respect and would win my vote…of course I’m not your average simpleton.
But last night he made a bold play. A play I wouldn’t have made. A better play than I would have made. Sitting down at tribal council he puts the (not so) hidden immunity idol around his neck, removing any shred of doubt that anyone might have had regarding if he had it. I would have played the idol, but by throwing it out there for all to see accomplished something. He called their bluff. By putting it out there he was daring them to vote for him. In doing so he bought himself one more (television) week of safety. He just needs to win A SINGLE immunity challenge and he will be able to float to the finals.
Could you not vote for him if you were on the jury? He’s played a masterful game. Brilliant. Unparalleled, yet flawed in some really dumb ways:
He can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether it be about the fact that he has the hidden immunity idol, or that he’s rich, or whatever he can’t keep good news to himself.
He plays his hand a week too early. In voting out John, and then nearly choosing to vote out Shannon he shoots his load too early, not unlike a teen boy first getting a shot at the goodies. As mentioned before he (and others) aren’t doing the math.
He overplays the game at times. I figured he was destined for an early departure because he was playing so hard so early, but he managed to recover.
Russel has the opportunity to do the one thing I always wanted to do if I was on Survivor: give an honest final tribal council speech. Lay it all out. Come clean about how you played everyone, and how they were just pawns in YOUR chess match. If I was on the jury, it would be something I would respect and would win my vote…of course I’m not your average simpleton.
Monday, December 7, 2009
All that and a stack of chips
It’s amazing, if you pardon the expression, the way that life works. Vegas, not one of my favorite towns (due to my obsessive compulsive disorder and my predilection for gambling), was the final city for iteration 15 of The Amazing Race. That, in and of itself, means exactly jack shit. However, there were a few things that stood out. The chapel that they had to go to in order to receive their next clue from Elvis also happens to be the chapel that I got married (for the second time in).
So what, you might ask. In my hopes of competing in a reality show, hopefully either TAR or Survivor (if you’re going to dream, dream big-I don’t think I could hack it on Rock of Love), there have always been things that worried me. Survivor has variables that are completely out of your control. There are certain situations where there is nothing you could have done to get out of the situation you’re in, especially when personality and interactions with people are concerned. TAR is something completely different. Pretty much every leg gets everybody bunched up and some point so you are on a level playing field. With the exception of season one, everyone that was in the final three had as much of a shot as anyone else to win it. The final challenge of TAR is the only one that really worried me, because it is always a fucking memory challenge…
Except this time. Counting chip. Counting fucking poker chips. If I had walked into that room and seen what the challenge was, write me the check, it’s mine. Aside from the obvious thing about one of the sets of racers being professional poker players and they would have had an unfair advantage, it was a nice change up on what the last challenge usually is. The only thing that would have been a worse thing on producers part would have been to have three legs in a country where one set of racers are fluent (like let’s say Korea, or another country on the Pacific rim), but that would never happen. Either way, counting out those chips would have been something I could have smoked through.
How insulted was Wayne Newton that people didn’t know who he was?
Anyway, with the above being said, some final thoughts on the last leg of an exciting race. Two of the three teams could have won without me being upset, and I was POSITIVE that the third team was going to win. If Brian and Ericka had won I would have been pissed. Brian seems like a nice enough guy, albeit a little hen-pecked. I know that the show is edited and shaped, but you can’t hide the back that she runs that family. The problem is that she controls things, but she is never in control. She falls apart under any kind of stress or if things aren’t going her way. And she yells at him and belittles him. She mentioned at the end that she hopes that the race showed her family what kind of man he is, no matter his color. I would be more afraid that his family would see what kind of woman she is. I’m guessing she’s lived a fairly charmed life and is used to stuff being handed to her. The way they blew their lead and she was blaming it all on him was laughable, since he carried the team.
Good for Cheyene and Megan. They deserved to win. Not much to say about this except that they were one of the more powerful teams ever, and they kept it together even if they thing that the most famous casino in Monaco is the Parisian, or whatever it was.
The gay brothers. As much as they fought, they ran hard. They didn’t exactly break any new ground, and I think it would have been pretty hard to know them and not know that they’re gay. They whined a lot, but they were still good competitors, and with the exception of the Globetrotters, probably the closest competition that the winners had.
Next season will be tough to watch, but still I look forward to it with all of my broken heart.
Lastly, how do the racers keep the expressions they have during the cutaways they do that are interspersed into the show? From the expressions they had, I was sure that Brian and Ericka had won. I know that if I had been there and won I would have been crying like a bitch.
So what, you might ask. In my hopes of competing in a reality show, hopefully either TAR or Survivor (if you’re going to dream, dream big-I don’t think I could hack it on Rock of Love), there have always been things that worried me. Survivor has variables that are completely out of your control. There are certain situations where there is nothing you could have done to get out of the situation you’re in, especially when personality and interactions with people are concerned. TAR is something completely different. Pretty much every leg gets everybody bunched up and some point so you are on a level playing field. With the exception of season one, everyone that was in the final three had as much of a shot as anyone else to win it. The final challenge of TAR is the only one that really worried me, because it is always a fucking memory challenge…
Except this time. Counting chip. Counting fucking poker chips. If I had walked into that room and seen what the challenge was, write me the check, it’s mine. Aside from the obvious thing about one of the sets of racers being professional poker players and they would have had an unfair advantage, it was a nice change up on what the last challenge usually is. The only thing that would have been a worse thing on producers part would have been to have three legs in a country where one set of racers are fluent (like let’s say Korea, or another country on the Pacific rim), but that would never happen. Either way, counting out those chips would have been something I could have smoked through.
How insulted was Wayne Newton that people didn’t know who he was?
Anyway, with the above being said, some final thoughts on the last leg of an exciting race. Two of the three teams could have won without me being upset, and I was POSITIVE that the third team was going to win. If Brian and Ericka had won I would have been pissed. Brian seems like a nice enough guy, albeit a little hen-pecked. I know that the show is edited and shaped, but you can’t hide the back that she runs that family. The problem is that she controls things, but she is never in control. She falls apart under any kind of stress or if things aren’t going her way. And she yells at him and belittles him. She mentioned at the end that she hopes that the race showed her family what kind of man he is, no matter his color. I would be more afraid that his family would see what kind of woman she is. I’m guessing she’s lived a fairly charmed life and is used to stuff being handed to her. The way they blew their lead and she was blaming it all on him was laughable, since he carried the team.
Good for Cheyene and Megan. They deserved to win. Not much to say about this except that they were one of the more powerful teams ever, and they kept it together even if they thing that the most famous casino in Monaco is the Parisian, or whatever it was.
The gay brothers. As much as they fought, they ran hard. They didn’t exactly break any new ground, and I think it would have been pretty hard to know them and not know that they’re gay. They whined a lot, but they were still good competitors, and with the exception of the Globetrotters, probably the closest competition that the winners had.
Next season will be tough to watch, but still I look forward to it with all of my broken heart.
Lastly, how do the racers keep the expressions they have during the cutaways they do that are interspersed into the show? From the expressions they had, I was sure that Brian and Ericka had won. I know that if I had been there and won I would have been crying like a bitch.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Numbers, numbers, everywhere, why won't someone f*cking think?
One of my best friends growing up made a very astute observation: everything can be boiled down to math. No matter what it was, he could bring it down to numbers. Sex? Angle of penetration, thrusts per minute, etc. It was all math. There is a reason why math is the one constant across all languages and all civilizations. No matter the color of your skin, or your tongue of choice, 1 + 1 always equals 2. Perhaps this realization by a 4th grader should have been seen as a precursor to him being a stockbroker.
So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Absolutely nothing. What does this have to do with the lunkheads competing for a million dollars in Samoa? Everything.
Russel has become equal parts mastermind and newbie player. Survivor is many things. A physical competition, a game of social strategy, and partially luck. However, at the end of the day, Survivor, like all other things, is all about the numbers. If you have numbers, you have everything.
When FF and G merged, it was an 8/4 split in favor of G. Russel and his band of idiot followers were able to confuse, outwit, and outplay the side with the majority, including a very necessary flip of one of the four. This week was a pivotal week, as will next week, and the week after that, but this was the first week that Russel's four (plus one) finally had the numbers on their side. If they keep with the plan and keep their one rogue member happy, next week it would be 5-3, and they could have secretly dumped their outsider leaving the four with a 4-3 advantage and a more or less clear path to the final four where things would get muddy. Seems simple, right?
No. They had to go against the wishes of the one person they had to keep happy. Anybody that flips on their team is likely to flip on your team if you don't keep them happy. One more vote. That's all the longer they had to appease her. Now they face a situation where everything is up in the air. Follow the numbers, do the math, that's all they had to do. The other team didn't follow the numbers and they lost an 8/4 advantage because of it. Now the shoe might end up on the other foot.
In some ways Russel has played an amazing game. However, playing an amazing 2/3 of a game will get you to the top third, not the top spot. His decision making this week made me think (for the first time this season) that he doesn't deserve to win over everyone else. For once Jaison actually showed some intelligence as he rationalized what they should do. You can make mistakes in Survivor and survive, if you make those mistakes early. Making a mistake like this late in the game leaves you a much smaller margin for error.
Of course this is all based on observations of what CBS decided to show. There is likely a lot more to it that I'm not privy to. However, when I get on a show like this I will follow the numbers as long as they are in my favor, and if they're not I'll scramble like hell to make sure they are eventually.
So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Absolutely nothing. What does this have to do with the lunkheads competing for a million dollars in Samoa? Everything.
Russel has become equal parts mastermind and newbie player. Survivor is many things. A physical competition, a game of social strategy, and partially luck. However, at the end of the day, Survivor, like all other things, is all about the numbers. If you have numbers, you have everything.
When FF and G merged, it was an 8/4 split in favor of G. Russel and his band of idiot followers were able to confuse, outwit, and outplay the side with the majority, including a very necessary flip of one of the four. This week was a pivotal week, as will next week, and the week after that, but this was the first week that Russel's four (plus one) finally had the numbers on their side. If they keep with the plan and keep their one rogue member happy, next week it would be 5-3, and they could have secretly dumped their outsider leaving the four with a 4-3 advantage and a more or less clear path to the final four where things would get muddy. Seems simple, right?
No. They had to go against the wishes of the one person they had to keep happy. Anybody that flips on their team is likely to flip on your team if you don't keep them happy. One more vote. That's all the longer they had to appease her. Now they face a situation where everything is up in the air. Follow the numbers, do the math, that's all they had to do. The other team didn't follow the numbers and they lost an 8/4 advantage because of it. Now the shoe might end up on the other foot.
In some ways Russel has played an amazing game. However, playing an amazing 2/3 of a game will get you to the top third, not the top spot. His decision making this week made me think (for the first time this season) that he doesn't deserve to win over everyone else. For once Jaison actually showed some intelligence as he rationalized what they should do. You can make mistakes in Survivor and survive, if you make those mistakes early. Making a mistake like this late in the game leaves you a much smaller margin for error.
Of course this is all based on observations of what CBS decided to show. There is likely a lot more to it that I'm not privy to. However, when I get on a show like this I will follow the numbers as long as they are in my favor, and if they're not I'll scramble like hell to make sure they are eventually.
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