I know nothing. At least when it comes to Survivor. That's what the last episode taught me.
There have now been 19 (aired) iterations of Survivor. In pretty much every season there has been someone who “deserved” to win that was part of the final two (or three.) Of these 19, many, MANY times someone who didn’t deserve to win did. I will break each of them down, then circle back to the travesty that was Survivor Samoa.
Season 1: Survivor (now referred to as Survivor: Borneo)
Finalists: Richard Hatch and Kelly Wigglesworth
Deserved to win: Richard
Won: Richard 4-3
This season is a bit of an outlier because it was the first one, and either one of them had a legitimate claim to being worthy of winning. Richard played a better game, but she still would have been a worthy winner.
Season 2: Survivor: Australia
Finalists: Colby Donaldson and Tina Wesson
Deserved to win: Colby
Won: Tina 4-3
Colby played a good game, won the last immunity challenge and could have taken Keith the cook to the finals and had an easy win. Instead he took Tina, knowing that she might beat him. She did, because she was “nicer” despite not having any game play at all (which was shown again in All-Stars when she was booted first.)
Season 3: Survivor: Africa
Finalists: Ethan Zohn and Kim Johnson
Deserved to win: Ethan
Won: Ethan 5-2
This season was interesting in that the winner deserved to win even though they played an “ethical” game. Played the game tough, but nice, which was weird.
Survivor: Marquesas
Finalists: Vecepia Towery and Neleh Denis
Deserved to win: Neither
Won: Vecepia 4-3
This season was interesting in that neither of the finalists really deserved to win. Of the two Neelah deserved it more, but that’s like saying Manson was better than Hitler. Lots of moves were made this season (which was interesting), but they were participants rather than drivers in the things that took them to the end. This was also the purple rock season.
Survivor: Thailand
Finalists: Brian Heidik and Clay Jordan
Deserved to win: Brian
Won: Brian 4-3
Porno Brian, everybody’s favorite pool boy from Melrose Place (look it up, he was on 2-3 episodes) absolutely deserved to win this season, and honestly was one of the best players ever. Though the season itself gets no love, he dominated both mentally and physically, being the most well-rounded Survivor contestant to this point in its history.
Survivor: The Amazon
Finalists: Jenna Morasca and Matthew Von Ertfelda
Deserved to win: Matthew
Won: Jenna 6-1
In the most lopsided victory yet, I had my most WTF moment. Jenna was nice enough and looked good sans clothes in Playboy, but she didn’t deserve to win. Possibly as a precursor to her All-Stars appearance she almost quit. Matt didn’t play a good mental game (possibly because he was crazy), but he did play a great physical game. Rob C. dominated the mental part of the game and was one of the best players ever not to make the finals
Survivor: Pearl Islands
Finalists: Sandra Diaz-Twine and Lillian Morris
Deserved to win: Neither
Won: Sandra 6-1
For the second time in as many seasons an undeserving person won. She was more undeserving than Jenna, if that was possible. Also for the second time one of the best players ever came in third, Johnny Fairplay, who was great and played the game well for a guy with no muscle tone at all.
Survivor: All-Stars
Finalists: Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich
Deserved to win: Rob
Won: Amber 4-3
Despite dominating the game from pillar to post, Rob lost to his new girlfriend. To Amber’s credit she was viewed as an odd choice to even be selected for All-Stars and she was less of a doormat in her second go round. This rounded out three straight undeserving winners.
Survivor: Vanuatu – Islands of Fire
Finalists: Twila Tanner and Chris Daugherty
Deserved to win: Chris
Won: Chris 5-2
In a return to sanity Chris Daugherty won despite the odds against him being the only man left in the final seven. He would go on to be on American Idol and release a successful album (yes, I know it’s not the same guy.)
Survivor: Palau
Finalists: Tom Westman and Katie Gallagher
Deserved to win: Tom
Won: Tom 6-1
He deserved to win, she didn’t. Enough said.
Survivor: Guatemala – The Maya Empire
Finalists: Danni Boatwright and Stephanie LaGrossa
Deserved to win: Danni
Won: Danni 6-1
Stephanie was quite possibly the most annoying contestant ever. The fact that she got to do this two seasons in a row was interesting, because she was not annoying the first time, but maybe her sense of entitlement kicked in and that’s why I was happy she nearly got swept.
Survivor: Panama – Exile Island
Finalists: Aras Baskausas and Danielle DiLorenzo
Deserved to win: Aras
Won: Aras
From what I remember Aras did well and deserved to win.
Survivor: Cook Islands (aka Racist Survivor)
Finalists: Yul Kwon, Ozzy Lusth, and Becky Lee
Deserved to win: Toss-up between Yul and Ozzy
Won: Yul 5-4-0
In the first season to have three finalists, there were two deserving people. Yul played a better mental game, Ozzy dominated in the water in challenges. I don’t remember Becky at all, but I think she was carried by her tribe.
Survivor: Fiji
Finalists: Earl Cole, Cassandra Franklin, and Dre Herd
Deserved to win: Earl
Won: Earl 9-0-0
In a season that introduced Yau-Man, Earl was the other half of that dominating alliance. Dreamz is remembered for promising to give over immunity in exchange for a car and not doing it. The first clean sweep was deserved.
Survivor: China
Finalists: Todd Herzog, Courtney Yates, and Amanda Kimmel
Deserved to win: Todd
Won: Todd 4-2-1
Todd played an incredible mental game, despite not having physical tools. Courtney was incredibly inept and could not cut a rope. Amanda gave her first of two embarrassingly bad final tribal council speeches.
Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites
Finalists: Parvati Swallow and Amanda Kimmel
Deserved to win: Amanda, kind of
Won: Parvati 5-3
This is the only version of Survivor where I think that how poorly someone did at the final tribal council drastically changed the outcome. This season was interesting because of how holier than thou the returning Survivors acted, and how they were kind of stuck up bitches (including the men.) Includes the stupidest move ever (giving up individual immunity and getting booted immediately.)
Survivor: Gabon – Earth’s Last Eden
Finalists: J.T. Thomas and Stephen Fishback
Deserved to win: J.T.
Won: J.T. 7-0
J.T. dominated physically. Stephen did play a decent mental game, but despite being a lawyer he fumbled away any chance he had at winning (which was slim to start with) with an embarrassing performance at the final tribal council.
Survivor: Samoa
Finalists: Natalie White, Russell Hantz, and Mick Trimming
Deserved to win: Russell
Won: Natalie: 7-2
What the f*ck? Natalie did nothing other than align herself with Russell and look good in a not-to-practical bikini the entire season. Russell raised the bar for how to play the game, and Mick did well on a physical level. My biggest WTF moment, especially considering the 5 vote difference.
Almost a full third of the people who won shouldn’t have. What does that mean? It means that I don’t know anything about the game of Survivor. Once Russell won the final immunity I thought it was all over except the crying. I would have bet serious money against Natalie winning. I would have given odds. I would have lost it all.
Granted Russell could have given a better speech at tribal, but it was decent. Not mind blowing, but it was decent. The whole “If they outplayed me, vote for them” should have held some weight, but apparently it didn’t. I would be embarrassed if I was on this season, for the simple fact that they let someone that didn’t do anything of note walk away with a million bucks. When anyone asked about Russell lying and backstabbing I would have said, “Who was the first member of the jury? Who put him there? Was he expecting it? You all are just as guilty as me of lying; I just did it better and more often.”
Here’s what I would do if (when) I get on the show. The very first night I would sit around the campfire with my tribe mates and lay out a hypothetical situation. Two people are in the finals. A nice person who didn’t win any challenges or a person who played the game hard, but might have lied to or betrayed you. I would take note of the responses. Anyone who picked the nice person would not get to the jury if I had any say in it.
At the final tribal council I would be honest and lay out how I lied, was duplicitous, and why I did it. I would point out how the people that were standing there with me were there at my will, not because of anything they did. I would also point out why the others did not deserve to win. I would appeal to their pride. I would point out that it was a game and compare it to playing poker. I was there to win, what were they there for. If they weren’t there to win, why did they even play? It drives me insane when people talk about playing the game ethically. When asked if I would have done anything differently, I would say no. I was willing to do any and everything to put me in the finals. Regarding how I can look at myself in the mirror? I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't give it my all. It's a game, it's not life. I'm not the nicest guy in real life, but on Survivor I would be the asshole I have to be to win. And with that, I would pocket a million dollars, but once again, what do I know?
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
The worst people in the world
Democrats...I kid, I kid. No, the worst people in the world (and this isn't some kind of faux award like that douche-bag Keith Olbermann gives out) are the cast of The Shore. It might actually be The Jersey Shore, but if you know what I'm talking about the exact title is immaterial.
Stereotypes exist. Racial profiling exists. Neither of those things is hard to believe. It is hard to believe that the people on this mTV show are for real, but at the same time I know they are. Nobody could fake being that terrible of a person. Perhaps my advancing age has skewed my perspective of things, but I don’t remember anyone growing up (or currently) that is such a caricature. Calling these people superficial and/or vain would be an insult to superficial and vain people.
Let’s break them down (or at least a few of them):
The Situation: I’ve known people (myself included) that have jokingly given themselves incredibly douchey nicknames. The simple fact is it was always done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. This jackass refers to himself in the 3rd person more than Rickey Henderson. Granted the dude has a six pack that I would kill for, but he is so shallow if he was a puddle he wouldn’t even get you wet. Karma (was it for the sake of irony that one of the most visited clubs on the show has this name) is a bitch. After his posturing regarding how he can have any woman he wants, he gets one-upped by someone else in the house. His pouted should have given him some depth and almost made him a tragic character, but the only tragedy is that he exists as he is. The funny thing is as guys go he’s really not an attractive dude. Roided up (allegedly) and cut, but he’s got a face for radio.
Ronnie: Actually the one somewhat decent guy on the show. He seems to have (a little) character and integrity, but he brings up one of the major flaws of the show and many of their ilk. They are but a few days in and already they are talking about “best friends” and how they “love each other” and are family. Not to mention how he and Sammi are so in love so early. The one not completely tainted character in a rougues’ gallery of masturbatory self-love.
Paulie: Hasn’t gotten as much air time as the two above. Loves himself to the extent that he says that boys should check their girlfriends when he’s around. Hooks up with JWow. Shows off his Prince Albert. I hate the fact that I know this guy’s penis is pierced. Would be nothing but a day player in this drama if it wasn’t for:
Vinny: Is this guy even on the show. I’ve been on the show more than him and I’ve never been to the Jersey shore.
Guys in general (on the show): If you spend this much time tanning, lifting, lip glossing, cutting your hair (daily), preening, and talking about yourself buy a gun. If you do, I’ll pay for the bullets.
Angelina: She’s no longer on the show, but she was interesting in that she (more than the others) really got on a high-horse about not having whores at the house, and took joy in cock-blocking the dudes. I knew she was going to be something special (not in a good way) when she said, “I’m a bartender, I do great things.” I have nothing against anyone and the professions that they choose, but being a bartender does not mean you do great things. Doctors, inventors, authors, etc. may do great things. Bartenders may make a great drink, but great things, I don’t think so. The fact that she was on a high horse about stuff made it all the more interesting when it came out that she was dating a married man. She was 100% natural, but also 100% hypocrite. “Cheating or hooking up is when you have sex with someone, everything else is okay.” Let me run that by my wife and see if she agrees with you…one slap later, no, you’re wrong. Her refusal to work for a free house for the summer speaks volumes to who she is.
Sammi: The woman in the love triangle. I know that editing allows the shapers of a program to rearrange time and can have a participant say something out of sequence or take a phrase out of context, but still, does these people forget that they did or said something? Her about face on which guy she was going to be with was very telling, especially when she went off about how she was never into “the situation”. Hello, we saw what you said/did. Do all of these people constantly black out and not remember what they did? Her explanation for macking on TS (the situation) on the after show is a great example of a larger underlying problem. “Of course I kissed you. You were kissing me, so it was easier to kiss you back.” That is wrong on so many levels and sends the wrong message to both men and women. It says that it is okay to force yourself on someone, and it also says that you should just take it. Way to represent women!
JWow: Who gives themselves that nickname? Nice hair, idiot. Your hair looks like some kind of weird animal pelt. She has the fake boobies and REALLY likes to show them off. She is constantly saying, “I have these!” on a non-verbal level. I wondered about the people that went into this show with significant others, how they would deal with it. It took her all of two days to start cheating, and yes it is cheating. My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t do it with your SO watching, then it is cheating. Her proclamation that she is going to be trouble now that she is single and that she spent the last year as a nun makes me wonder what nuns really live like. I was unaware that nuns are usually checking out the packages of men that they just met after drunkingly dry-humping them earlier in the night. You learn something new everyday.
Snookie: This girl is the triple-threat. Desperate, stupid, and horny. She wants to be loved so badly that she will love any and everyone. She defines attention-whore. She needs to be the center of the situation (not “the situation), and when she’s not, she pouts. Her need of attention means that she will latch on (both figuratively and literally) to any person, of any gender, that happens to be in her proximity. She’s kind of like an Ewok. Short, and not thin. Cute in a non-threatening way. There is a blankness in her eyes that is probably a result of an IQ that resides somewhere south of the Mendoza line. I know that doesn’t translate directly, but if you don’t get it, Wikipedia is your friend. More or less it’s a nice way of saying her and Forest Gump would be in a dead heat on Jeopardy. However, of all the women, she is by far the most likeable. I don’t see a viciousness or a cattiness in her that I see in the others. Of course there has to be a reason why she gets sucker punched in an upcoming episode.
The women: They all seem to be oblivious to the fact that if they weren’t on the show they would probably be the “whores and sluts” that they deride constantly. Their belief in their superiority is as thin as most of the clothing they wear.
What’s up with the tattoos? There’s more ink on the bodies in that house than there is in the average Harry Potter or Steven King book.
There have been protests and complaints about this show. However, the people that the offended parties should be talking to is not the network (who have struck gold with this train-wreck, much watch show), but with the fact that this culture exists. I don’t think mTV would dare have a “Compton” show where they would show the self-proclaimed gangsta’s because it would immediately be branded as racism. I know the show is edited, characters are shaped, etc., but the simple fact is that mTV is playing the fly on the wall here, and what the wall sees is not good. But it is entertaining. Trashy, aiming for the lowest common denominator, but entertaining for sure.
This show makes me think about the theory of the cycle of poverty. Some people from the inner-city are born into the welfare system, and by the choices they make and the few opportunities they have, they become the next generation living the same way. These kids (I know they're adults, but they are still children on most mental levels) will end up marrying each other. Maybe not the other people on the show, but people like them, and they will bring in the next generation. Which is sad...and scary.
I know that if I ever got on a reality show I would most likely come off poorly. That would be in no small part my fault, because if I’m competing for $1 million I will do and say whatever it takes to make it through (nod to Degrassi). Even if I would come off as a total tool, I would not be casting an entire ethnic group or cultural heritage back centuries, just myself. That is something I could and would happily live with (as I count my money which I’d ask for in singles so I could roll around in it.)
Stereotypes exist. Racial profiling exists. Neither of those things is hard to believe. It is hard to believe that the people on this mTV show are for real, but at the same time I know they are. Nobody could fake being that terrible of a person. Perhaps my advancing age has skewed my perspective of things, but I don’t remember anyone growing up (or currently) that is such a caricature. Calling these people superficial and/or vain would be an insult to superficial and vain people.
Let’s break them down (or at least a few of them):
The Situation: I’ve known people (myself included) that have jokingly given themselves incredibly douchey nicknames. The simple fact is it was always done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. This jackass refers to himself in the 3rd person more than Rickey Henderson. Granted the dude has a six pack that I would kill for, but he is so shallow if he was a puddle he wouldn’t even get you wet. Karma (was it for the sake of irony that one of the most visited clubs on the show has this name) is a bitch. After his posturing regarding how he can have any woman he wants, he gets one-upped by someone else in the house. His pouted should have given him some depth and almost made him a tragic character, but the only tragedy is that he exists as he is. The funny thing is as guys go he’s really not an attractive dude. Roided up (allegedly) and cut, but he’s got a face for radio.
Ronnie: Actually the one somewhat decent guy on the show. He seems to have (a little) character and integrity, but he brings up one of the major flaws of the show and many of their ilk. They are but a few days in and already they are talking about “best friends” and how they “love each other” and are family. Not to mention how he and Sammi are so in love so early. The one not completely tainted character in a rougues’ gallery of masturbatory self-love.
Paulie: Hasn’t gotten as much air time as the two above. Loves himself to the extent that he says that boys should check their girlfriends when he’s around. Hooks up with JWow. Shows off his Prince Albert. I hate the fact that I know this guy’s penis is pierced. Would be nothing but a day player in this drama if it wasn’t for:
Vinny: Is this guy even on the show. I’ve been on the show more than him and I’ve never been to the Jersey shore.
Guys in general (on the show): If you spend this much time tanning, lifting, lip glossing, cutting your hair (daily), preening, and talking about yourself buy a gun. If you do, I’ll pay for the bullets.
Angelina: She’s no longer on the show, but she was interesting in that she (more than the others) really got on a high-horse about not having whores at the house, and took joy in cock-blocking the dudes. I knew she was going to be something special (not in a good way) when she said, “I’m a bartender, I do great things.” I have nothing against anyone and the professions that they choose, but being a bartender does not mean you do great things. Doctors, inventors, authors, etc. may do great things. Bartenders may make a great drink, but great things, I don’t think so. The fact that she was on a high horse about stuff made it all the more interesting when it came out that she was dating a married man. She was 100% natural, but also 100% hypocrite. “Cheating or hooking up is when you have sex with someone, everything else is okay.” Let me run that by my wife and see if she agrees with you…one slap later, no, you’re wrong. Her refusal to work for a free house for the summer speaks volumes to who she is.
Sammi: The woman in the love triangle. I know that editing allows the shapers of a program to rearrange time and can have a participant say something out of sequence or take a phrase out of context, but still, does these people forget that they did or said something? Her about face on which guy she was going to be with was very telling, especially when she went off about how she was never into “the situation”. Hello, we saw what you said/did. Do all of these people constantly black out and not remember what they did? Her explanation for macking on TS (the situation) on the after show is a great example of a larger underlying problem. “Of course I kissed you. You were kissing me, so it was easier to kiss you back.” That is wrong on so many levels and sends the wrong message to both men and women. It says that it is okay to force yourself on someone, and it also says that you should just take it. Way to represent women!
JWow: Who gives themselves that nickname? Nice hair, idiot. Your hair looks like some kind of weird animal pelt. She has the fake boobies and REALLY likes to show them off. She is constantly saying, “I have these!” on a non-verbal level. I wondered about the people that went into this show with significant others, how they would deal with it. It took her all of two days to start cheating, and yes it is cheating. My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t do it with your SO watching, then it is cheating. Her proclamation that she is going to be trouble now that she is single and that she spent the last year as a nun makes me wonder what nuns really live like. I was unaware that nuns are usually checking out the packages of men that they just met after drunkingly dry-humping them earlier in the night. You learn something new everyday.
Snookie: This girl is the triple-threat. Desperate, stupid, and horny. She wants to be loved so badly that she will love any and everyone. She defines attention-whore. She needs to be the center of the situation (not “the situation), and when she’s not, she pouts. Her need of attention means that she will latch on (both figuratively and literally) to any person, of any gender, that happens to be in her proximity. She’s kind of like an Ewok. Short, and not thin. Cute in a non-threatening way. There is a blankness in her eyes that is probably a result of an IQ that resides somewhere south of the Mendoza line. I know that doesn’t translate directly, but if you don’t get it, Wikipedia is your friend. More or less it’s a nice way of saying her and Forest Gump would be in a dead heat on Jeopardy. However, of all the women, she is by far the most likeable. I don’t see a viciousness or a cattiness in her that I see in the others. Of course there has to be a reason why she gets sucker punched in an upcoming episode.
The women: They all seem to be oblivious to the fact that if they weren’t on the show they would probably be the “whores and sluts” that they deride constantly. Their belief in their superiority is as thin as most of the clothing they wear.
What’s up with the tattoos? There’s more ink on the bodies in that house than there is in the average Harry Potter or Steven King book.
There have been protests and complaints about this show. However, the people that the offended parties should be talking to is not the network (who have struck gold with this train-wreck, much watch show), but with the fact that this culture exists. I don’t think mTV would dare have a “Compton” show where they would show the self-proclaimed gangsta’s because it would immediately be branded as racism. I know the show is edited, characters are shaped, etc., but the simple fact is that mTV is playing the fly on the wall here, and what the wall sees is not good. But it is entertaining. Trashy, aiming for the lowest common denominator, but entertaining for sure.
This show makes me think about the theory of the cycle of poverty. Some people from the inner-city are born into the welfare system, and by the choices they make and the few opportunities they have, they become the next generation living the same way. These kids (I know they're adults, but they are still children on most mental levels) will end up marrying each other. Maybe not the other people on the show, but people like them, and they will bring in the next generation. Which is sad...and scary.
I know that if I ever got on a reality show I would most likely come off poorly. That would be in no small part my fault, because if I’m competing for $1 million I will do and say whatever it takes to make it through (nod to Degrassi). Even if I would come off as a total tool, I would not be casting an entire ethnic group or cultural heritage back centuries, just myself. That is something I could and would happily live with (as I count my money which I’d ask for in singles so I could roll around in it.)
Surviving stupidity. Will the best outplay themselves?
It’s all about execution. Russel has played the game better than anyone (including Richard Hatch), yet still made mind bogglingly stupid mistakes. There are also different ways to approach things. I don’t think that I could play the game nearly as well as Russel has, but at the same time there are mistakes he’s made that I would have avoided.
But last night he made a bold play. A play I wouldn’t have made. A better play than I would have made. Sitting down at tribal council he puts the (not so) hidden immunity idol around his neck, removing any shred of doubt that anyone might have had regarding if he had it. I would have played the idol, but by throwing it out there for all to see accomplished something. He called their bluff. By putting it out there he was daring them to vote for him. In doing so he bought himself one more (television) week of safety. He just needs to win A SINGLE immunity challenge and he will be able to float to the finals.
Could you not vote for him if you were on the jury? He’s played a masterful game. Brilliant. Unparalleled, yet flawed in some really dumb ways:
He can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether it be about the fact that he has the hidden immunity idol, or that he’s rich, or whatever he can’t keep good news to himself.
He plays his hand a week too early. In voting out John, and then nearly choosing to vote out Shannon he shoots his load too early, not unlike a teen boy first getting a shot at the goodies. As mentioned before he (and others) aren’t doing the math.
He overplays the game at times. I figured he was destined for an early departure because he was playing so hard so early, but he managed to recover.
Russel has the opportunity to do the one thing I always wanted to do if I was on Survivor: give an honest final tribal council speech. Lay it all out. Come clean about how you played everyone, and how they were just pawns in YOUR chess match. If I was on the jury, it would be something I would respect and would win my vote…of course I’m not your average simpleton.
But last night he made a bold play. A play I wouldn’t have made. A better play than I would have made. Sitting down at tribal council he puts the (not so) hidden immunity idol around his neck, removing any shred of doubt that anyone might have had regarding if he had it. I would have played the idol, but by throwing it out there for all to see accomplished something. He called their bluff. By putting it out there he was daring them to vote for him. In doing so he bought himself one more (television) week of safety. He just needs to win A SINGLE immunity challenge and he will be able to float to the finals.
Could you not vote for him if you were on the jury? He’s played a masterful game. Brilliant. Unparalleled, yet flawed in some really dumb ways:
He can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether it be about the fact that he has the hidden immunity idol, or that he’s rich, or whatever he can’t keep good news to himself.
He plays his hand a week too early. In voting out John, and then nearly choosing to vote out Shannon he shoots his load too early, not unlike a teen boy first getting a shot at the goodies. As mentioned before he (and others) aren’t doing the math.
He overplays the game at times. I figured he was destined for an early departure because he was playing so hard so early, but he managed to recover.
Russel has the opportunity to do the one thing I always wanted to do if I was on Survivor: give an honest final tribal council speech. Lay it all out. Come clean about how you played everyone, and how they were just pawns in YOUR chess match. If I was on the jury, it would be something I would respect and would win my vote…of course I’m not your average simpleton.
Monday, December 7, 2009
All that and a stack of chips
It’s amazing, if you pardon the expression, the way that life works. Vegas, not one of my favorite towns (due to my obsessive compulsive disorder and my predilection for gambling), was the final city for iteration 15 of The Amazing Race. That, in and of itself, means exactly jack shit. However, there were a few things that stood out. The chapel that they had to go to in order to receive their next clue from Elvis also happens to be the chapel that I got married (for the second time in).
So what, you might ask. In my hopes of competing in a reality show, hopefully either TAR or Survivor (if you’re going to dream, dream big-I don’t think I could hack it on Rock of Love), there have always been things that worried me. Survivor has variables that are completely out of your control. There are certain situations where there is nothing you could have done to get out of the situation you’re in, especially when personality and interactions with people are concerned. TAR is something completely different. Pretty much every leg gets everybody bunched up and some point so you are on a level playing field. With the exception of season one, everyone that was in the final three had as much of a shot as anyone else to win it. The final challenge of TAR is the only one that really worried me, because it is always a fucking memory challenge…
Except this time. Counting chip. Counting fucking poker chips. If I had walked into that room and seen what the challenge was, write me the check, it’s mine. Aside from the obvious thing about one of the sets of racers being professional poker players and they would have had an unfair advantage, it was a nice change up on what the last challenge usually is. The only thing that would have been a worse thing on producers part would have been to have three legs in a country where one set of racers are fluent (like let’s say Korea, or another country on the Pacific rim), but that would never happen. Either way, counting out those chips would have been something I could have smoked through.
How insulted was Wayne Newton that people didn’t know who he was?
Anyway, with the above being said, some final thoughts on the last leg of an exciting race. Two of the three teams could have won without me being upset, and I was POSITIVE that the third team was going to win. If Brian and Ericka had won I would have been pissed. Brian seems like a nice enough guy, albeit a little hen-pecked. I know that the show is edited and shaped, but you can’t hide the back that she runs that family. The problem is that she controls things, but she is never in control. She falls apart under any kind of stress or if things aren’t going her way. And she yells at him and belittles him. She mentioned at the end that she hopes that the race showed her family what kind of man he is, no matter his color. I would be more afraid that his family would see what kind of woman she is. I’m guessing she’s lived a fairly charmed life and is used to stuff being handed to her. The way they blew their lead and she was blaming it all on him was laughable, since he carried the team.
Good for Cheyene and Megan. They deserved to win. Not much to say about this except that they were one of the more powerful teams ever, and they kept it together even if they thing that the most famous casino in Monaco is the Parisian, or whatever it was.
The gay brothers. As much as they fought, they ran hard. They didn’t exactly break any new ground, and I think it would have been pretty hard to know them and not know that they’re gay. They whined a lot, but they were still good competitors, and with the exception of the Globetrotters, probably the closest competition that the winners had.
Next season will be tough to watch, but still I look forward to it with all of my broken heart.
Lastly, how do the racers keep the expressions they have during the cutaways they do that are interspersed into the show? From the expressions they had, I was sure that Brian and Ericka had won. I know that if I had been there and won I would have been crying like a bitch.
So what, you might ask. In my hopes of competing in a reality show, hopefully either TAR or Survivor (if you’re going to dream, dream big-I don’t think I could hack it on Rock of Love), there have always been things that worried me. Survivor has variables that are completely out of your control. There are certain situations where there is nothing you could have done to get out of the situation you’re in, especially when personality and interactions with people are concerned. TAR is something completely different. Pretty much every leg gets everybody bunched up and some point so you are on a level playing field. With the exception of season one, everyone that was in the final three had as much of a shot as anyone else to win it. The final challenge of TAR is the only one that really worried me, because it is always a fucking memory challenge…
Except this time. Counting chip. Counting fucking poker chips. If I had walked into that room and seen what the challenge was, write me the check, it’s mine. Aside from the obvious thing about one of the sets of racers being professional poker players and they would have had an unfair advantage, it was a nice change up on what the last challenge usually is. The only thing that would have been a worse thing on producers part would have been to have three legs in a country where one set of racers are fluent (like let’s say Korea, or another country on the Pacific rim), but that would never happen. Either way, counting out those chips would have been something I could have smoked through.
How insulted was Wayne Newton that people didn’t know who he was?
Anyway, with the above being said, some final thoughts on the last leg of an exciting race. Two of the three teams could have won without me being upset, and I was POSITIVE that the third team was going to win. If Brian and Ericka had won I would have been pissed. Brian seems like a nice enough guy, albeit a little hen-pecked. I know that the show is edited and shaped, but you can’t hide the back that she runs that family. The problem is that she controls things, but she is never in control. She falls apart under any kind of stress or if things aren’t going her way. And she yells at him and belittles him. She mentioned at the end that she hopes that the race showed her family what kind of man he is, no matter his color. I would be more afraid that his family would see what kind of woman she is. I’m guessing she’s lived a fairly charmed life and is used to stuff being handed to her. The way they blew their lead and she was blaming it all on him was laughable, since he carried the team.
Good for Cheyene and Megan. They deserved to win. Not much to say about this except that they were one of the more powerful teams ever, and they kept it together even if they thing that the most famous casino in Monaco is the Parisian, or whatever it was.
The gay brothers. As much as they fought, they ran hard. They didn’t exactly break any new ground, and I think it would have been pretty hard to know them and not know that they’re gay. They whined a lot, but they were still good competitors, and with the exception of the Globetrotters, probably the closest competition that the winners had.
Next season will be tough to watch, but still I look forward to it with all of my broken heart.
Lastly, how do the racers keep the expressions they have during the cutaways they do that are interspersed into the show? From the expressions they had, I was sure that Brian and Ericka had won. I know that if I had been there and won I would have been crying like a bitch.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Numbers, numbers, everywhere, why won't someone f*cking think?
One of my best friends growing up made a very astute observation: everything can be boiled down to math. No matter what it was, he could bring it down to numbers. Sex? Angle of penetration, thrusts per minute, etc. It was all math. There is a reason why math is the one constant across all languages and all civilizations. No matter the color of your skin, or your tongue of choice, 1 + 1 always equals 2. Perhaps this realization by a 4th grader should have been seen as a precursor to him being a stockbroker.
So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Absolutely nothing. What does this have to do with the lunkheads competing for a million dollars in Samoa? Everything.
Russel has become equal parts mastermind and newbie player. Survivor is many things. A physical competition, a game of social strategy, and partially luck. However, at the end of the day, Survivor, like all other things, is all about the numbers. If you have numbers, you have everything.
When FF and G merged, it was an 8/4 split in favor of G. Russel and his band of idiot followers were able to confuse, outwit, and outplay the side with the majority, including a very necessary flip of one of the four. This week was a pivotal week, as will next week, and the week after that, but this was the first week that Russel's four (plus one) finally had the numbers on their side. If they keep with the plan and keep their one rogue member happy, next week it would be 5-3, and they could have secretly dumped their outsider leaving the four with a 4-3 advantage and a more or less clear path to the final four where things would get muddy. Seems simple, right?
No. They had to go against the wishes of the one person they had to keep happy. Anybody that flips on their team is likely to flip on your team if you don't keep them happy. One more vote. That's all the longer they had to appease her. Now they face a situation where everything is up in the air. Follow the numbers, do the math, that's all they had to do. The other team didn't follow the numbers and they lost an 8/4 advantage because of it. Now the shoe might end up on the other foot.
In some ways Russel has played an amazing game. However, playing an amazing 2/3 of a game will get you to the top third, not the top spot. His decision making this week made me think (for the first time this season) that he doesn't deserve to win over everyone else. For once Jaison actually showed some intelligence as he rationalized what they should do. You can make mistakes in Survivor and survive, if you make those mistakes early. Making a mistake like this late in the game leaves you a much smaller margin for error.
Of course this is all based on observations of what CBS decided to show. There is likely a lot more to it that I'm not privy to. However, when I get on a show like this I will follow the numbers as long as they are in my favor, and if they're not I'll scramble like hell to make sure they are eventually.
So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Absolutely nothing. What does this have to do with the lunkheads competing for a million dollars in Samoa? Everything.
Russel has become equal parts mastermind and newbie player. Survivor is many things. A physical competition, a game of social strategy, and partially luck. However, at the end of the day, Survivor, like all other things, is all about the numbers. If you have numbers, you have everything.
When FF and G merged, it was an 8/4 split in favor of G. Russel and his band of idiot followers were able to confuse, outwit, and outplay the side with the majority, including a very necessary flip of one of the four. This week was a pivotal week, as will next week, and the week after that, but this was the first week that Russel's four (plus one) finally had the numbers on their side. If they keep with the plan and keep their one rogue member happy, next week it would be 5-3, and they could have secretly dumped their outsider leaving the four with a 4-3 advantage and a more or less clear path to the final four where things would get muddy. Seems simple, right?
No. They had to go against the wishes of the one person they had to keep happy. Anybody that flips on their team is likely to flip on your team if you don't keep them happy. One more vote. That's all the longer they had to appease her. Now they face a situation where everything is up in the air. Follow the numbers, do the math, that's all they had to do. The other team didn't follow the numbers and they lost an 8/4 advantage because of it. Now the shoe might end up on the other foot.
In some ways Russel has played an amazing game. However, playing an amazing 2/3 of a game will get you to the top third, not the top spot. His decision making this week made me think (for the first time this season) that he doesn't deserve to win over everyone else. For once Jaison actually showed some intelligence as he rationalized what they should do. You can make mistakes in Survivor and survive, if you make those mistakes early. Making a mistake like this late in the game leaves you a much smaller margin for error.
Of course this is all based on observations of what CBS decided to show. There is likely a lot more to it that I'm not privy to. However, when I get on a show like this I will follow the numbers as long as they are in my favor, and if they're not I'll scramble like hell to make sure they are eventually.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Surviving the Race
To make things easy for me I’m going to comment on both Survivor and The Amazing Race in one post. Nobody gives a shit, because nobody reads this drivel anyway, so…
Russel. What can you say about the guy? If anyone has ever deserved to win the million dollar prize for Survivor more than him, I’d be hard-pressed to remember them, because he has set a standard that I don’t think anyone will ever match. He has had a few mis-steps along the way, and there are things that he has done stupidly, but the genius far outweighs the idiocy. Three hidden immunity idols? Damn, the guy is good.
When the game first started he was playing this bizarre sabotage your own group strategy. In a way in made sense because his goal was to further take people out of their comfort zone. People who are uncomfortable are easier to mold, but his subterfuge was his undoing. By going down the path of making people miserable he caused his team to fall into a deep hole. Eventually he realized that no matter how uncomfortable you may want to make people, you still need to win to have numbers on your side and he abandoned that idea. It looks like he is going to go down this path to the end of the game. Now it makes sense, as long as it doesn’t backfire.
Speaking of backfire, I have said that there are very few rules I would hold myself to if I was ever fortunate enough to weather the selection process and make it on the show. The two rules that I can identify are:
1. Never throw a group challenge. No matter how bad you want someone from your tribe gone, it is dumb to ever throw a challenge. There is one possible exception to this, and that is if there has been a tribe swap and you find yourself in a situation where your allies are on the down side of numbers on the other tribe. By throwing a challenge in that scenario you allow yourself to remove someone from the other tribe. This exception only works if you have a solid majority on your tribe.
2. Keep your numbers. If you make it to the merge and you have numbers on your side, get rid of any of the remaining members of the other tribe before you take out any of your own. No matter how many extra people you have in your number pool, by going against your own tribe you throw doubt into people’s minds and you give the opposition time. With time, they can find a way to stick around.
These dipshits on Galu fucked themselves hard-core. No matter how many hidden immunity idols Russel pulled out of his ass, they would have been able to eventually whittle down the other side to nothing. Confidence leads to cockiness, and cocky people tend to find themselves on the wrong side of a blind side. They were cocky to the point of being complacent. They deserved to be picked off, and it has made for a very interesting season.
One more rule: Don’t ever do something now against a future promise. If it keeps me in the game I will promise you any and everything you want to hear. When that bill comes due and you no longer have leverage, guess what? I ain’t fulfilling my part of the bargain. One guy flipped his vote during the tie in exchange for a future favor. That is a favor he’s not going to get.
It’s Amazing!
What is amazing, you ask. When I watch football, I often get frustrated in the 4th quarter, especially when my team is down and they are trying to mount a comeback. As time is tick, tick, ticking away, there is often a frustrating lack of a sense of urgency. I constantly find myself yelling at the TV to “move your ass” to people who don’t know me, and if they ever met me they probably would punch me.
What does this have to do with the topic at hand? The Amazing Race is both great and crappy at the same time for the fact that in addition to equalizers like flights, trains, destination operating hours, etc., it also is great for a team that is behind in that they can get to some challenges an hour after everyone else and as soon as they start they are no longer behind. You have just as much of a chance as those people who have been at it for a long time. This isn’t true for all challenges, but it is true for the “needle in a haystack” like the one last night. Let’s rewind a second….
There are four teams remaining. They are:
1. The hot chick and the n’Sync dude. They probably will win it all. They are pretty consistently good, but she has shown signs of being more concerned about being nice instead of winning.
2. The Globetrotters. I’m not a guge fan of stunt casting, which I consider these guys to be. However they are really good competitors. At the same time they proved a few weeks ago that they are good at being dicks, but can’t take it when it is turned around.
3. The gay brothers. That sounds like a sitcom title about a couple of detectives. These guys are good also, though they do bicker a lot. Just what you’d expect from a pair of gay brothers. They don’t flaunt they gayness, but I think you’d have to be naïve not to at least suspect it.
4. The beauty queen and the cuckold. She is a C with a capital C. He is out of his league with her and I’m pretty sure he knows it, because I wouldn’t put up with her crap, no matter how pretty she is. For a final four team, they’re really not very good. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that she was a beauty queen, but more to deal with the fact that she has no motivation.
They (team number 4) get to the Roadblock and the beauty queen is going to do it. At this point they become tied for second place (one team had already completed it and had went to the pit stop). One in three chance at moving on to the million dollar round. You bust your ass, right? No. You casually stroll up and down the aisles. La-de-da. “I’m not looking under all of these chairs.” Seriously? There was absolutely no sense of urgency at all. Maybe they are rich already and don’t need the money. Maybe they’ve already gotten what they needed to out of the experience. This pisses me off to no end. I would give my right nut to get on the show with my wife. Not my left one, because for some reason I am more attached to Becky than Bonnie. I would never put up with that crap from my wife on the race. I would have been screaming for her to move her ass and to act like she gives a shit. I love my wife, but come on!
All that being said I fully expect them to make the final three. Why? There is usually foreshadowing in the way the show is edited. The fact that Phil asked about who the brothers were afraid of facing in the final three and the fact that the brothers excluded team yellow means (to me) one of two things, either team yellow beats the brothers to the mat to eliminate them in the second to last episode or that team yellow wins, which would be a travesty. I fully expected last nights episode to be the double-leg, but apparently there will not be a double-leg this season.
I have never seen a team that my wife and I “couldn’t” beat on The Amazing Race. Russel might be one of just a few Survivors that I don’t think I could beat. Most of the time I could either out think or out muscle just about every one of the people to play Survivor. Russel is the total package, even if he is kind of a tool, but I like that. The thing I really like about him is he is a millionaire. He doesn’t need the money. Despite that he plays balls-out, which is the only way you should do either of these shows. If you’re not in it to win it, why are you there?
Russel. What can you say about the guy? If anyone has ever deserved to win the million dollar prize for Survivor more than him, I’d be hard-pressed to remember them, because he has set a standard that I don’t think anyone will ever match. He has had a few mis-steps along the way, and there are things that he has done stupidly, but the genius far outweighs the idiocy. Three hidden immunity idols? Damn, the guy is good.
When the game first started he was playing this bizarre sabotage your own group strategy. In a way in made sense because his goal was to further take people out of their comfort zone. People who are uncomfortable are easier to mold, but his subterfuge was his undoing. By going down the path of making people miserable he caused his team to fall into a deep hole. Eventually he realized that no matter how uncomfortable you may want to make people, you still need to win to have numbers on your side and he abandoned that idea. It looks like he is going to go down this path to the end of the game. Now it makes sense, as long as it doesn’t backfire.
Speaking of backfire, I have said that there are very few rules I would hold myself to if I was ever fortunate enough to weather the selection process and make it on the show. The two rules that I can identify are:
1. Never throw a group challenge. No matter how bad you want someone from your tribe gone, it is dumb to ever throw a challenge. There is one possible exception to this, and that is if there has been a tribe swap and you find yourself in a situation where your allies are on the down side of numbers on the other tribe. By throwing a challenge in that scenario you allow yourself to remove someone from the other tribe. This exception only works if you have a solid majority on your tribe.
2. Keep your numbers. If you make it to the merge and you have numbers on your side, get rid of any of the remaining members of the other tribe before you take out any of your own. No matter how many extra people you have in your number pool, by going against your own tribe you throw doubt into people’s minds and you give the opposition time. With time, they can find a way to stick around.
These dipshits on Galu fucked themselves hard-core. No matter how many hidden immunity idols Russel pulled out of his ass, they would have been able to eventually whittle down the other side to nothing. Confidence leads to cockiness, and cocky people tend to find themselves on the wrong side of a blind side. They were cocky to the point of being complacent. They deserved to be picked off, and it has made for a very interesting season.
One more rule: Don’t ever do something now against a future promise. If it keeps me in the game I will promise you any and everything you want to hear. When that bill comes due and you no longer have leverage, guess what? I ain’t fulfilling my part of the bargain. One guy flipped his vote during the tie in exchange for a future favor. That is a favor he’s not going to get.
It’s Amazing!
What is amazing, you ask. When I watch football, I often get frustrated in the 4th quarter, especially when my team is down and they are trying to mount a comeback. As time is tick, tick, ticking away, there is often a frustrating lack of a sense of urgency. I constantly find myself yelling at the TV to “move your ass” to people who don’t know me, and if they ever met me they probably would punch me.
What does this have to do with the topic at hand? The Amazing Race is both great and crappy at the same time for the fact that in addition to equalizers like flights, trains, destination operating hours, etc., it also is great for a team that is behind in that they can get to some challenges an hour after everyone else and as soon as they start they are no longer behind. You have just as much of a chance as those people who have been at it for a long time. This isn’t true for all challenges, but it is true for the “needle in a haystack” like the one last night. Let’s rewind a second….
There are four teams remaining. They are:
1. The hot chick and the n’Sync dude. They probably will win it all. They are pretty consistently good, but she has shown signs of being more concerned about being nice instead of winning.
2. The Globetrotters. I’m not a guge fan of stunt casting, which I consider these guys to be. However they are really good competitors. At the same time they proved a few weeks ago that they are good at being dicks, but can’t take it when it is turned around.
3. The gay brothers. That sounds like a sitcom title about a couple of detectives. These guys are good also, though they do bicker a lot. Just what you’d expect from a pair of gay brothers. They don’t flaunt they gayness, but I think you’d have to be naïve not to at least suspect it.
4. The beauty queen and the cuckold. She is a C with a capital C. He is out of his league with her and I’m pretty sure he knows it, because I wouldn’t put up with her crap, no matter how pretty she is. For a final four team, they’re really not very good. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that she was a beauty queen, but more to deal with the fact that she has no motivation.
They (team number 4) get to the Roadblock and the beauty queen is going to do it. At this point they become tied for second place (one team had already completed it and had went to the pit stop). One in three chance at moving on to the million dollar round. You bust your ass, right? No. You casually stroll up and down the aisles. La-de-da. “I’m not looking under all of these chairs.” Seriously? There was absolutely no sense of urgency at all. Maybe they are rich already and don’t need the money. Maybe they’ve already gotten what they needed to out of the experience. This pisses me off to no end. I would give my right nut to get on the show with my wife. Not my left one, because for some reason I am more attached to Becky than Bonnie. I would never put up with that crap from my wife on the race. I would have been screaming for her to move her ass and to act like she gives a shit. I love my wife, but come on!
All that being said I fully expect them to make the final three. Why? There is usually foreshadowing in the way the show is edited. The fact that Phil asked about who the brothers were afraid of facing in the final three and the fact that the brothers excluded team yellow means (to me) one of two things, either team yellow beats the brothers to the mat to eliminate them in the second to last episode or that team yellow wins, which would be a travesty. I fully expected last nights episode to be the double-leg, but apparently there will not be a double-leg this season.
I have never seen a team that my wife and I “couldn’t” beat on The Amazing Race. Russel might be one of just a few Survivors that I don’t think I could beat. Most of the time I could either out think or out muscle just about every one of the people to play Survivor. Russel is the total package, even if he is kind of a tool, but I like that. The thing I really like about him is he is a millionaire. He doesn’t need the money. Despite that he plays balls-out, which is the only way you should do either of these shows. If you’re not in it to win it, why are you there?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Survivor as of 11/14
Survivor this season has been interesting. Russel has kind of changed his gameplan from the beginning. At the beginning he was all about himself, going to the extreme of making things uncomfortable to his team mates (unbeknownst to them) by going as far as burning their socks. In a way he might have been partially to blame for the hole his team found themselves in.
On the one hand he is amazing because he found the first immunity idol (II) by himself just by looking. That was the first of many WTF moments. Finding the second one was even more unbelievable. However, he has been making many mistakes, not the least of which is he can’t keep his mouth shut. I thought for sure he was going to get booted in the first few weeks just because of how stupid he played his beginning game by giving the EXACT SAME SPIEL to three different people. How that didn’t come back to bite him in the butt is beyond me.
The girl who won the last to immunity challenges has to go. She is a C in a big way. This season reminds me a lot of the season where Vecepia won. There was a tribe that destroyed the other tribe, but they got so cocky that they eventually had the tables turned on them.
This week is the turning point. Shambo actually did something very smart by voting with her old tribe, and playing dumb when Russel threw out the II. Her tribe that has been nothing short of awful to her will now turn to her to be the 6th member to maintain a majority. I would imagine the vote this week will be a tie between Russel and someone from the other side and Russel will win the tie-breaker. Russel is on the next season so I imagine he makes it nearly to the end.
Russel’s main problem now is numbers, but not the number problem he had before. The jury has two people currently. Eric will vote against his old team for booting him. The problem is there are 4 Foa Foa and 6 Galau (sp) left. If it ends up being three FF in the end, that makes the jury 1 FF and 8 G, of which Eric would vote for Russel. The best play for Russel is to get to the finals with 2 Gs, and himself. That gives him 3 FF votes and Eric, giving him 4. Shambo could give him the 5th. Either way, for the first time in a long time there is someone who definitely deserves to win, and it’s him.
As a side note, at what point do people consider function over form? The blond girl is wearing a swimsuit that has all of these rings holding it together. Certainly that is not the most functional swim suit for Survivor, no matter how good she might look in it.
Lastly, Russel is the first player since the car dealer/soft core porno dude that I think could mentally outplay me in this game, since he appears to actually have his shit together.
On the one hand he is amazing because he found the first immunity idol (II) by himself just by looking. That was the first of many WTF moments. Finding the second one was even more unbelievable. However, he has been making many mistakes, not the least of which is he can’t keep his mouth shut. I thought for sure he was going to get booted in the first few weeks just because of how stupid he played his beginning game by giving the EXACT SAME SPIEL to three different people. How that didn’t come back to bite him in the butt is beyond me.
The girl who won the last to immunity challenges has to go. She is a C in a big way. This season reminds me a lot of the season where Vecepia won. There was a tribe that destroyed the other tribe, but they got so cocky that they eventually had the tables turned on them.
This week is the turning point. Shambo actually did something very smart by voting with her old tribe, and playing dumb when Russel threw out the II. Her tribe that has been nothing short of awful to her will now turn to her to be the 6th member to maintain a majority. I would imagine the vote this week will be a tie between Russel and someone from the other side and Russel will win the tie-breaker. Russel is on the next season so I imagine he makes it nearly to the end.
Russel’s main problem now is numbers, but not the number problem he had before. The jury has two people currently. Eric will vote against his old team for booting him. The problem is there are 4 Foa Foa and 6 Galau (sp) left. If it ends up being three FF in the end, that makes the jury 1 FF and 8 G, of which Eric would vote for Russel. The best play for Russel is to get to the finals with 2 Gs, and himself. That gives him 3 FF votes and Eric, giving him 4. Shambo could give him the 5th. Either way, for the first time in a long time there is someone who definitely deserves to win, and it’s him.
As a side note, at what point do people consider function over form? The blond girl is wearing a swimsuit that has all of these rings holding it together. Certainly that is not the most functional swim suit for Survivor, no matter how good she might look in it.
Lastly, Russel is the first player since the car dealer/soft core porno dude that I think could mentally outplay me in this game, since he appears to actually have his shit together.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Why I don't kick ass
Last week I started writing a blog entry which I never got around to completing which was entitled "Why I kick ass." The general theme of the post was about how I've managed to accomplish what I've accomplished with very little. The last couple of days have made me rethink that.
On Saturday my wife was watching TV in the living room and my kids were watching a show in the family room. As I was leaving the family room I had a severe chest pain. I literally fell to the ground (floor, since I'm not an animal and live indoors) in pain. For a second I thought to myself, "well, I'll just lay here and die." Then I remembered I was supposed to have sex that night and got up and walked it off.
Sunday I was doing the grocery shopping and I was listening to some Bon Jovi, and I thought to myself how great my life is. If I get hit by a truck tomorrow, I accomplished more than I ever expected to, and have a better life than I probably deserve.
Monday on the drive home the chest pains return. I end up in the hospital on oxygen, having tests run, etc. People have criticized the fact that I twittered about this and that I updated my Facebook, some accusing it of being a joke in poor taste. In all honesty as I was waiting for the ambulance to take my from Urgent Care to the hospital I was scared. Maybe this was it. Maybe I'd had my moment in the sun and that sun was now setting.
What does this have to do with why I don't kick ass? The same reasons why I started writing about why I did. I honestly believe that I am smarter than 99.9% of all people alive. Considering the fact that there are several infants and women out there, this might seem like a small feat, but still something I believe to be true. Why does this mean I don't kick ass? Because what have I done with it? I had a boss who rightly criticized me for not being the best I could be at my job, stating that I'm "good enough", but not as good as I could be. I know people that are much better at what they do because they take the time and take the effort to improve themselves. I've gone through life trying to brute force my way through challenges rather than taking the time and effort to become better at something.
As my asshole senior year basketball coach told me, "Matt, you're not good at anything. You'll never be good at anything. You'll only be average." Somewhere along the line I accepted that as fact and realized that I won't ever be good at anything. Of course the fact that I make a ton more money than he ever will somewhat cushions that blow.
Maybe the time has come to try to actually use my few FSM given gifts to excel rather than just get by. Of course, there might also be something on TV, so fuck it.
On Saturday my wife was watching TV in the living room and my kids were watching a show in the family room. As I was leaving the family room I had a severe chest pain. I literally fell to the ground (floor, since I'm not an animal and live indoors) in pain. For a second I thought to myself, "well, I'll just lay here and die." Then I remembered I was supposed to have sex that night and got up and walked it off.
Sunday I was doing the grocery shopping and I was listening to some Bon Jovi, and I thought to myself how great my life is. If I get hit by a truck tomorrow, I accomplished more than I ever expected to, and have a better life than I probably deserve.
Monday on the drive home the chest pains return. I end up in the hospital on oxygen, having tests run, etc. People have criticized the fact that I twittered about this and that I updated my Facebook, some accusing it of being a joke in poor taste. In all honesty as I was waiting for the ambulance to take my from Urgent Care to the hospital I was scared. Maybe this was it. Maybe I'd had my moment in the sun and that sun was now setting.
What does this have to do with why I don't kick ass? The same reasons why I started writing about why I did. I honestly believe that I am smarter than 99.9% of all people alive. Considering the fact that there are several infants and women out there, this might seem like a small feat, but still something I believe to be true. Why does this mean I don't kick ass? Because what have I done with it? I had a boss who rightly criticized me for not being the best I could be at my job, stating that I'm "good enough", but not as good as I could be. I know people that are much better at what they do because they take the time and take the effort to improve themselves. I've gone through life trying to brute force my way through challenges rather than taking the time and effort to become better at something.
As my asshole senior year basketball coach told me, "Matt, you're not good at anything. You'll never be good at anything. You'll only be average." Somewhere along the line I accepted that as fact and realized that I won't ever be good at anything. Of course the fact that I make a ton more money than he ever will somewhat cushions that blow.
Maybe the time has come to try to actually use my few FSM given gifts to excel rather than just get by. Of course, there might also be something on TV, so fuck it.
Monday, October 26, 2009
People who piss me off
If you are in a position where you have a 1 in 6 chance of winning a million dollars you suck it up. I don’t care what your fears are, no matter how rational or irrational they happen to be. If you are on a TV show, they will not let you get hurt. No matter how many waivers you sign, they (the producers) would never do anything to purposely put you in harm’s way. There is an implied safety that you should feel that will allow you to overcome your stupid fears.
I, of course, am referring to the idiots who got kicked off of The Amazing Race because the girl on the team wouldn’t go down a water slide. A fucking water slide. Granted this girl had two (that we know about) major fears: heights and water. It was a tall water slide, but it was still a fucking water slide. This is a pair that had a legitimate shot of winning the whole thing.
I am afraid of snakes. Deathly afraid. So afraid that even I consider myself a pussy for how I deal with it. Put me in that situation (obviously adapted where snakes are somehow involved) and I do it, period. How? I take five, maybe ten seconds and find my center, calm myself down, and then I jump head long into the pit of snakes. Why do I do this? Because I am a rational (despite the fear of snakes) person who realizes that this is a very momentary event of extreme discomfort which will afford me the ability to walk away with one of those big golf checks that contains three commas. It is the about the big picture.
Now I control myself and how I do things, but what if it was my wife who was afraid to go down a FUCKING WATER SLIDE, what do I do? I make her do it. How? Depending on the rules of the game, by any means necessary. Maybe I push her down. Maybe I handcuff her, I don't know, but I make her do it. If need be I pull out the trump card: I will leave you if you don’t go down this water slide. No, a game show isn’t bigger than my marriage, but the inability to see the bigger picture and to put the interests of the family and the greater good first underlies a fundamental problem with that person. As I am fond of saying, “It’s not always about you, douche-bag.” I've swallowed my pride and done things I don't agree with for the good of the group, and this wasn't with a million dollar price tag attached.
I don’t know if this couple is still together. I can’t imagine that they are, because all fights between them would be ended when he brings up the fact that she cost him a half a million dollars. Of course, both of these people are virgins, but are dating (is that an oxymoron?), so I’m not exactly on their wavelength as far as thought process is concerned.
Lastly, and this is something that has bugged me across all reality shows I’ve watched. When you get kicked off, or eliminated, or don’t get a rose, or don’t lose the most weight, or whatever it happens to be, you should be upset. Not just upset, but pissed, distraught, angry, frustrated, etc. The whole, “It’s okay, we had fun…it was good while it lasted…we got something more important than the money out of it…” shouldn’t be said. If that is your thought process, why are you there? Going on a reality show requires some sort of sacrifice from a contestant. Maybe it’s losing your job, or being away from your family, or not eating, or getting out of your comfort zone, but for pretty much everyone that is on these shows they have to give something up to be there. If you’re not there with the intent of winning, and you’re okay with losing, you have to question why you’re there. This isn’t the era of the first few seasons of Survivor just being there is your ticket to fame. I think the experience would be fantastic, but I wouldn’t go at all if I wasn’t 100% committed to winning at any cost. The sacrifices I’d have to make to be there are too great. I take these people not caring about winning or losing (or even worse those who quit) as a personal affront to everyone that wants to have that challenge.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Favre
I'm a Packer fan. I think you have to be if you're born in Wisconsin. It's something in the water. As I sit here with Sportscenter on in the background, wearing a 20 year old Majik man shirt, I think my Packer fan credentials are pretty solid.
I've seen Favre lead the Pack in Cincinnati, Detroit, Green Bay, Milwaukee, Kansas City, and Houston. Nearly all of the games I've been at have been nail-biters, and fortunately the Pack won nearly all of them (except the ones in Detroit).
As the image of Favre in the red quarterback jersey plays in the background, it's not the color of the jersey that's odd, it's the color of the helmet...Purple. When Brett went to the Jets it was still green, plus it was the AFC, so I could root for him in good conscience. Now things are different.
I fully expected Favre to sign with the Vikes this year. I was so sure of it that I bought tickets to see the Vikings play in Cleveland. When he said he wasn't coming back three weeks ago I still felt he would be back. Now he is, and I'm happy about it.
I know many Packer fans are pissed. I don't think we'll ever know the truth about what transpired in Green Bay that led him to "retire" initially, but I have my suspicions. I look at it this way. I worked for one company in one capacity or another for 12 years. I almost left a couple times during that period, but I never did till I was forced to leave. If I had left on my own it would have been different. By being forced out it took something away from me. I have no ill will towards that company, but I have lots towards individuals within that company. I believe Favre probably feels the same way.
I will balance how I look at this season. I am a Packer fan first, but I am a Favre fan also. It's not like he went to the Bears.
I've seen Favre lead the Pack in Cincinnati, Detroit, Green Bay, Milwaukee, Kansas City, and Houston. Nearly all of the games I've been at have been nail-biters, and fortunately the Pack won nearly all of them (except the ones in Detroit).
As the image of Favre in the red quarterback jersey plays in the background, it's not the color of the jersey that's odd, it's the color of the helmet...Purple. When Brett went to the Jets it was still green, plus it was the AFC, so I could root for him in good conscience. Now things are different.
I fully expected Favre to sign with the Vikes this year. I was so sure of it that I bought tickets to see the Vikings play in Cleveland. When he said he wasn't coming back three weeks ago I still felt he would be back. Now he is, and I'm happy about it.
I know many Packer fans are pissed. I don't think we'll ever know the truth about what transpired in Green Bay that led him to "retire" initially, but I have my suspicions. I look at it this way. I worked for one company in one capacity or another for 12 years. I almost left a couple times during that period, but I never did till I was forced to leave. If I had left on my own it would have been different. By being forced out it took something away from me. I have no ill will towards that company, but I have lots towards individuals within that company. I believe Favre probably feels the same way.
I will balance how I look at this season. I am a Packer fan first, but I am a Favre fan also. It's not like he went to the Bears.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
If you die and you're over 80...
Your cause of death is you're over 80 years old.
I don't figure to last much past 40 before I shuffle off, but if you're 80, you've lived your life. I know it's sad when anyone dies, but what is the quality of life for someone over 80?
I swear if there's a big to do about the Kennedy that just died, someone gets cock-punched. Don't know who yet, but someone.
I don't figure to last much past 40 before I shuffle off, but if you're 80, you've lived your life. I know it's sad when anyone dies, but what is the quality of life for someone over 80?
I swear if there's a big to do about the Kennedy that just died, someone gets cock-punched. Don't know who yet, but someone.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The joy of being Matt
Not to be confused with The Joy of Being Aaron, which available in my book on Amazon.
There is a certain freedom in the way I live my life. I went through a series of relationships before I met my current wife. Those relationships more often were measured in days or weeks than in measurements of longer periods. Most of that falls on my shoulders. I was always in a quandry of knowing that I would have a hard time being in a relationship with someone that was in a relationship with me, because people need to set higher goals.
My relationships fell into a few categories:
Random women and random bars who were given random names and random backstories by me. Step one to ensuring a successful relationship is if you've known someone less than a day, maybe their cock shouldn't be in you. "I've never done this before" doesn't hold a lot of weight if you're good at it.
Women I tried to hard to be with. I can think of a couple examples of this where the tables were turned and I had had anything but the upper hand. Once I landed in Ohio I was "successful" enough to let money flow pretty freely. Nothing extravagant, but dinners, drinks, always on me. I think I wanted so desperately to be part of something that had weight that I was willing to give up a big part of me to try to find that. Step two: be true to yourself before all others.
Fuck buddies. I think if you bounce around the dating scene long enough you eventually date someone, or multiple someones who don't work with you on a relationship level, but you have a physical symbiosis with. This generally works for short periods of time, but eventually someone wants to put definition around what you "mean" to each other and a perfectly good situation is ruined.
The ones in the middle. I dated a girl in Columbus (actually on a mile or two from where I now live) for a couple of months, twice. That is two different sets of a couple months. After the second time we remained friends for awhile and would see each other now and then for shits and giggles. After the second time we broke up she said that I was a great person to date because I was fun, but I had no long term potential. I liked her a lot (love was never part of it), but while we were together I had no value beyond the now. Afterwards she actually recanted that thought and raised the possibility of a third go round right around the time I started dating my now-wife. The problem was no matter how comfortable I was with this person, I could never be me. I told the pre-relationship lies before the first go-round so I was forever bound by ties of dishonesty. Plus I was only the third guy she slept with and she was around 40, which meant that everything meant a lot more to her than it did to me...and, well there were some other things.
That's what brings me to today. Before I met my wife I decided that I'm just going to be me, warts (figurative) and all. From day one and date one I'm not going to put on any act, I'm just going to be me. To this day, people will threaten me with, "I'll tell your wife you said that." My response is always, "Go ahead." There's nothing I'll say or do that I wouldn't do if my wife was there. This is a tactic that probably doesn't work well in general, but it worked for me. My wife will be the first person to say that she figured I was a two, three date person at best. Nine plus years later, I'll still here pissing her off and embarrassing her.
I spent so much of my life scared to be who I am that I would pretend to be someone else in nearly every situation. With the exception of work, I pretty much am who I am. I came to the realization that though I may be far from perfect, I like who I am. If people like that, great. If not, they can EABOD. There is a freedom to being who you are. That's why you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. That's not to say that you can't improve yourself, but everyone is a work in progress.
There is a certain freedom in the way I live my life. I went through a series of relationships before I met my current wife. Those relationships more often were measured in days or weeks than in measurements of longer periods. Most of that falls on my shoulders. I was always in a quandry of knowing that I would have a hard time being in a relationship with someone that was in a relationship with me, because people need to set higher goals.
My relationships fell into a few categories:
Random women and random bars who were given random names and random backstories by me. Step one to ensuring a successful relationship is if you've known someone less than a day, maybe their cock shouldn't be in you. "I've never done this before" doesn't hold a lot of weight if you're good at it.
Women I tried to hard to be with. I can think of a couple examples of this where the tables were turned and I had had anything but the upper hand. Once I landed in Ohio I was "successful" enough to let money flow pretty freely. Nothing extravagant, but dinners, drinks, always on me. I think I wanted so desperately to be part of something that had weight that I was willing to give up a big part of me to try to find that. Step two: be true to yourself before all others.
Fuck buddies. I think if you bounce around the dating scene long enough you eventually date someone, or multiple someones who don't work with you on a relationship level, but you have a physical symbiosis with. This generally works for short periods of time, but eventually someone wants to put definition around what you "mean" to each other and a perfectly good situation is ruined.
The ones in the middle. I dated a girl in Columbus (actually on a mile or two from where I now live) for a couple of months, twice. That is two different sets of a couple months. After the second time we remained friends for awhile and would see each other now and then for shits and giggles. After the second time we broke up she said that I was a great person to date because I was fun, but I had no long term potential. I liked her a lot (love was never part of it), but while we were together I had no value beyond the now. Afterwards she actually recanted that thought and raised the possibility of a third go round right around the time I started dating my now-wife. The problem was no matter how comfortable I was with this person, I could never be me. I told the pre-relationship lies before the first go-round so I was forever bound by ties of dishonesty. Plus I was only the third guy she slept with and she was around 40, which meant that everything meant a lot more to her than it did to me...and, well there were some other things.
That's what brings me to today. Before I met my wife I decided that I'm just going to be me, warts (figurative) and all. From day one and date one I'm not going to put on any act, I'm just going to be me. To this day, people will threaten me with, "I'll tell your wife you said that." My response is always, "Go ahead." There's nothing I'll say or do that I wouldn't do if my wife was there. This is a tactic that probably doesn't work well in general, but it worked for me. My wife will be the first person to say that she figured I was a two, three date person at best. Nine plus years later, I'll still here pissing her off and embarrassing her.
I spent so much of my life scared to be who I am that I would pretend to be someone else in nearly every situation. With the exception of work, I pretty much am who I am. I came to the realization that though I may be far from perfect, I like who I am. If people like that, great. If not, they can EABOD. There is a freedom to being who you are. That's why you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. That's not to say that you can't improve yourself, but everyone is a work in progress.
Walk away
How's this for a story idea. A man is presented with a unique opportunity to walk away from his current life and start fresh somewhere else. Should he take it? What are the repercussions mentally of walking away from everything you've ever known and becoming someone else?
Monday, July 13, 2009
Why women are crazy plus an inventor who should die
I love women. I love looking at women, talking to women, hearing about their hopes and dreams. Okay, so I really just like looking at them, but it is important to remember that before I go on to the topic at hand, so that you don't think I dislike women, because I don't. That leer is one of love, not one of hate.
With introductory explanations out of the way, all women are crazy. Their craziness varies in degrees, but all women have the crazy gene. Some of them are just carriers and the crazy is dormant, but there is a trigger out there for everyone that will make the crazy rise to the surface. Perhaps the crazy gene is carried in the second X chromosome, who knows, but all women have the crazy gene. I love my wife, and I love my mom, but both of them have the crazy gene.
There are countless examples of craziness coming from the fairer sex, but there is one that always stood out to me. One of the most common nightmares that women have (I'm totally making this part up, but I've hear anecdotal evidence that agrees with me on this) is being seen in public either in their underwear, or heaven forbid, completely nude. This is what makes
The example in question? Swimsuits. As a lover the female form, there is nothing as exciting as accidental nudity (stick with me, this is going somewhere). You know, when a shirt flops open just a little too much. That's why amateur porn rocks. You can imagine yourself in those situations. If a woman is too hot you can't put yourself there, because she wouldn't talk to you. What does this have to do with swimsuits? This:
One of the things that women would find most embarrassing is to be caught in public in their underwear. But go to any pool and women hang out in swimsuits, which often cover up much less than the granny panties so many women wear. I am a firm believer that granny panties should be banned, but they exist, and not only do they exist, they probably have a large percentage of the ass covering market. I could go on and on about why thongs are cool, but that is the subject of another blog for another time. How can less coverage be more acceptable?
Along the whole swimming pool line, whoever invented the tankini should be shot. The tankini, for anyone that doesn't know is the bastard hybrid of a bikini and a one piece swimsuit. The top becomes a top with a skirt that covers everything between the top and the bottom via a make-shift skirt. There's an old saying, "shit or get off the pot." If you're willing to wear a bikini, wear it. If not, wear a one piece, that's fine. This tankini bullshit is for people that aren't willing to commit. It reminds me of women who will cheat on their boyfriends, but won't sleep with you. You can't get "a little pregnant." Commit. Pick a side. Kill the creator of the tankini.
With introductory explanations out of the way, all women are crazy. Their craziness varies in degrees, but all women have the crazy gene. Some of them are just carriers and the crazy is dormant, but there is a trigger out there for everyone that will make the crazy rise to the surface. Perhaps the crazy gene is carried in the second X chromosome, who knows, but all women have the crazy gene. I love my wife, and I love my mom, but both of them have the crazy gene.
There are countless examples of craziness coming from the fairer sex, but there is one that always stood out to me. One of the most common nightmares that women have (I'm totally making this part up, but I've hear anecdotal evidence that agrees with me on this) is being seen in public either in their underwear, or heaven forbid, completely nude. This is what makes
The example in question? Swimsuits. As a lover the female form, there is nothing as exciting as accidental nudity (stick with me, this is going somewhere). You know, when a shirt flops open just a little too much. That's why amateur porn rocks. You can imagine yourself in those situations. If a woman is too hot you can't put yourself there, because she wouldn't talk to you. What does this have to do with swimsuits? This:
One of the things that women would find most embarrassing is to be caught in public in their underwear. But go to any pool and women hang out in swimsuits, which often cover up much less than the granny panties so many women wear. I am a firm believer that granny panties should be banned, but they exist, and not only do they exist, they probably have a large percentage of the ass covering market. I could go on and on about why thongs are cool, but that is the subject of another blog for another time. How can less coverage be more acceptable?
Along the whole swimming pool line, whoever invented the tankini should be shot. The tankini, for anyone that doesn't know is the bastard hybrid of a bikini and a one piece swimsuit. The top becomes a top with a skirt that covers everything between the top and the bottom via a make-shift skirt. There's an old saying, "shit or get off the pot." If you're willing to wear a bikini, wear it. If not, wear a one piece, that's fine. This tankini bullshit is for people that aren't willing to commit. It reminds me of women who will cheat on their boyfriends, but won't sleep with you. You can't get "a little pregnant." Commit. Pick a side. Kill the creator of the tankini.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I've had it with these mother f'n snakes in the mother f'n parking lot
Snakes scare me. Like a little boy at Neverland ranch scared. There is construction in the parking lot at work, and what do I see? This. It's at least six feet long.
Big Brother 11
Thoughts on the first episode:
Guessed who was the surprise houseguest before the show started. Didn't guess that there would be 4 possible, but had the right one anyway.
Having only watched one season (10) I don't have a historical knowledge of the show, but the clique thing (in addition to being incredibly dumb) really changes things. First it eliminates the you can't win HOH back to back problem. You win HOH, next week someone else from your clique does, rinse repeat. Question is does everyone except HOH still get to vote, or only people in the non-immune clique?
If I was HOH this week I would target Braden. He is the only non-athlete that should be any physical threat. The best thing they could do is nominate two people from one clique, in essence crippling that group from the start.
The one black girl with the major attitude has to go. The guy from Ohio is an embarassment (the guy in the brains group), and I feel sorry for the older DJ. I think they will be forced to switch the game in a few weeks, because otherwise one clique is going to destroy everyone else.
Lastly the girl who was a karate champ dug herself a big hole. The "I'm 18" and "I don't do sports" were spotted as obvious lies from minute 1.
Yes, the font on this is all fucked up. Copy and paste isn't my friend.
Guessed who was the surprise houseguest before the show started. Didn't guess that there would be 4 possible, but had the right one anyway.
Having only watched one season (10) I don't have a historical knowledge of the show, but the clique thing (in addition to being incredibly dumb) really changes things. First it eliminates the you can't win HOH back to back problem. You win HOH, next week someone else from your clique does, rinse repeat. Question is does everyone except HOH still get to vote, or only people in the non-immune clique?
If I was HOH this week I would target Braden. He is the only non-athlete that should be any physical threat. The best thing they could do is nominate two people from one clique, in essence crippling that group from the start.
The one black girl with the major attitude has to go. The guy from Ohio is an embarassment (the guy in the brains group), and I feel sorry for the older DJ. I think they will be forced to switch the game in a few weeks, because otherwise one clique is going to destroy everyone else.
Lastly the girl who was a karate champ dug herself a big hole. The "I'm 18" and "I don't do sports" were spotted as obvious lies from minute 1.
Yes, the font on this is all fucked up. Copy and paste isn't my friend.
The Michael Jackson fiasco
I don't get people. Michael Jackson couldn't get positive press to save his life two weeks ago. But now...
Why is it that he has somehow become something in death that he wasn't in life? It reminds me of the movie Heathers when the shoplifter's character is talking about how death has given meaning to the people she and low-rent Jack Nicholson boyfriend have killed. How the dad loved his "dead gay son."
I sold almost as many albums as MJ two weeks ago, now he is selling like hotcakes. Did his music become better or more relevant because he died? The need to stock people's ipods with an alleged kid toucher's music escalated in reverse allignment to his core body temp.
There is a saying in religion, Love the sinner, hate the sin. I think the exact opposite should apply here. Love the music, not musician. Michael Jackson was incredibly talented, and whether you liked his music or not, you can't deny that he did some amazing things. That being said, let's be honest. He was a fucked up guy. What is telling is not who attended his latest show, but who didn't. Oprah, Diana Ross, Justin Timberlake, and even Michael Jackson himself found it a little distasteful to be there (he was not in the coffin).
Kind of like Roman Polanski, OJ, Woody Allen, Jerry Lee Lewis, Rob Lowe, these are all talented people at their chosen craft, but that doesn't negate the terrible things they have done. Fame is an absolver of sins, but doesn't have nearly the cleaning power of death.
Lastly, a lot has been made of race in the whole hoopla surrounding his death, but not in the way I feel it should have. If you watched the circus that was his memorial (pause for a moment because I did get choked up when I saw "his" daughter speak about him) he was being hailed as this great example for black people. I don't get this. He did everything he could to distance his appearance from being black. Al Sharpton wouldn't have touched him three weeks ago, but couldn't have been more front and center this week.
Nearly 100 million people can't be wrong, right? It's just me.
Why is it that he has somehow become something in death that he wasn't in life? It reminds me of the movie Heathers when the shoplifter's character is talking about how death has given meaning to the people she and low-rent Jack Nicholson boyfriend have killed. How the dad loved his "dead gay son."
I sold almost as many albums as MJ two weeks ago, now he is selling like hotcakes. Did his music become better or more relevant because he died? The need to stock people's ipods with an alleged kid toucher's music escalated in reverse allignment to his core body temp.
There is a saying in religion, Love the sinner, hate the sin. I think the exact opposite should apply here. Love the music, not musician. Michael Jackson was incredibly talented, and whether you liked his music or not, you can't deny that he did some amazing things. That being said, let's be honest. He was a fucked up guy. What is telling is not who attended his latest show, but who didn't. Oprah, Diana Ross, Justin Timberlake, and even Michael Jackson himself found it a little distasteful to be there (he was not in the coffin).
Kind of like Roman Polanski, OJ, Woody Allen, Jerry Lee Lewis, Rob Lowe, these are all talented people at their chosen craft, but that doesn't negate the terrible things they have done. Fame is an absolver of sins, but doesn't have nearly the cleaning power of death.
Lastly, a lot has been made of race in the whole hoopla surrounding his death, but not in the way I feel it should have. If you watched the circus that was his memorial (pause for a moment because I did get choked up when I saw "his" daughter speak about him) he was being hailed as this great example for black people. I don't get this. He did everything he could to distance his appearance from being black. Al Sharpton wouldn't have touched him three weeks ago, but couldn't have been more front and center this week.
Nearly 100 million people can't be wrong, right? It's just me.
So this is my blog
I won't write much in it. Nobody will read it. It is the perfect marriage of lack of effort and lack of caring. Basically I will use this as a place to talk about stuff that pisses me off.
Harumph.
Harumph.
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