Surviving the Race

To make things easy for me I’m going to comment on both Survivor and The Amazing Race in one post. Nobody gives a shit, because nobody reads this drivel anyway, so…

Russel. What can you say about the guy? If anyone has ever deserved to win the million dollar prize for Survivor more than him, I’d be hard-pressed to remember them, because he has set a standard that I don’t think anyone will ever match. He has had a few mis-steps along the way, and there are things that he has done stupidly, but the genius far outweighs the idiocy. Three hidden immunity idols? Damn, the guy is good.

When the game first started he was playing this bizarre sabotage your own group strategy. In a way in made sense because his goal was to further take people out of their comfort zone. People who are uncomfortable are easier to mold, but his subterfuge was his undoing. By going down the path of making people miserable he caused his team to fall into a deep hole. Eventually he realized that no matter how uncomfortable you may want to make people, you still need to win to have numbers on your side and he abandoned that idea. It looks like he is going to go down this path to the end of the game. Now it makes sense, as long as it doesn’t backfire.

Speaking of backfire, I have said that there are very few rules I would hold myself to if I was ever fortunate enough to weather the selection process and make it on the show. The two rules that I can identify are:

1. Never throw a group challenge. No matter how bad you want someone from your tribe gone, it is dumb to ever throw a challenge. There is one possible exception to this, and that is if there has been a tribe swap and you find yourself in a situation where your allies are on the down side of numbers on the other tribe. By throwing a challenge in that scenario you allow yourself to remove someone from the other tribe. This exception only works if you have a solid majority on your tribe.

2. Keep your numbers. If you make it to the merge and you have numbers on your side, get rid of any of the remaining members of the other tribe before you take out any of your own. No matter how many extra people you have in your number pool, by going against your own tribe you throw doubt into people’s minds and you give the opposition time. With time, they can find a way to stick around.

These dipshits on Galu fucked themselves hard-core. No matter how many hidden immunity idols Russel pulled out of his ass, they would have been able to eventually whittle down the other side to nothing. Confidence leads to cockiness, and cocky people tend to find themselves on the wrong side of a blind side. They were cocky to the point of being complacent. They deserved to be picked off, and it has made for a very interesting season.

One more rule: Don’t ever do something now against a future promise. If it keeps me in the game I will promise you any and everything you want to hear. When that bill comes due and you no longer have leverage, guess what? I ain’t fulfilling my part of the bargain. One guy flipped his vote during the tie in exchange for a future favor. That is a favor he’s not going to get.

It’s Amazing!
What is amazing, you ask. When I watch football, I often get frustrated in the 4th quarter, especially when my team is down and they are trying to mount a comeback. As time is tick, tick, ticking away, there is often a frustrating lack of a sense of urgency. I constantly find myself yelling at the TV to “move your ass” to people who don’t know me, and if they ever met me they probably would punch me.

What does this have to do with the topic at hand? The Amazing Race is both great and crappy at the same time for the fact that in addition to equalizers like flights, trains, destination operating hours, etc., it also is great for a team that is behind in that they can get to some challenges an hour after everyone else and as soon as they start they are no longer behind. You have just as much of a chance as those people who have been at it for a long time. This isn’t true for all challenges, but it is true for the “needle in a haystack” like the one last night. Let’s rewind a second….

There are four teams remaining. They are:
1. The hot chick and the n’Sync dude. They probably will win it all. They are pretty consistently good, but she has shown signs of being more concerned about being nice instead of winning.

2. The Globetrotters. I’m not a guge fan of stunt casting, which I consider these guys to be. However they are really good competitors. At the same time they proved a few weeks ago that they are good at being dicks, but can’t take it when it is turned around.

3. The gay brothers. That sounds like a sitcom title about a couple of detectives. These guys are good also, though they do bicker a lot. Just what you’d expect from a pair of gay brothers. They don’t flaunt they gayness, but I think you’d have to be naïve not to at least suspect it.

4. The beauty queen and the cuckold. She is a C with a capital C. He is out of his league with her and I’m pretty sure he knows it, because I wouldn’t put up with her crap, no matter how pretty she is. For a final four team, they’re really not very good. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that she was a beauty queen, but more to deal with the fact that she has no motivation.

They (team number 4) get to the Roadblock and the beauty queen is going to do it. At this point they become tied for second place (one team had already completed it and had went to the pit stop). One in three chance at moving on to the million dollar round. You bust your ass, right? No. You casually stroll up and down the aisles. La-de-da. “I’m not looking under all of these chairs.” Seriously? There was absolutely no sense of urgency at all. Maybe they are rich already and don’t need the money. Maybe they’ve already gotten what they needed to out of the experience. This pisses me off to no end. I would give my right nut to get on the show with my wife. Not my left one, because for some reason I am more attached to Becky than Bonnie. I would never put up with that crap from my wife on the race. I would have been screaming for her to move her ass and to act like she gives a shit. I love my wife, but come on!

All that being said I fully expect them to make the final three. Why? There is usually foreshadowing in the way the show is edited. The fact that Phil asked about who the brothers were afraid of facing in the final three and the fact that the brothers excluded team yellow means (to me) one of two things, either team yellow beats the brothers to the mat to eliminate them in the second to last episode or that team yellow wins, which would be a travesty. I fully expected last nights episode to be the double-leg, but apparently there will not be a double-leg this season.

I have never seen a team that my wife and I “couldn’t” beat on The Amazing Race. Russel might be one of just a few Survivors that I don’t think I could beat. Most of the time I could either out think or out muscle just about every one of the people to play Survivor. Russel is the total package, even if he is kind of a tool, but I like that. The thing I really like about him is he is a millionaire. He doesn’t need the money. Despite that he plays balls-out, which is the only way you should do either of these shows. If you’re not in it to win it, why are you there?