Why women are crazy plus an inventor who should die

I love women. I love looking at women, talking to women, hearing about their hopes and dreams. Okay, so I really just like looking at them, but it is important to remember that before I go on to the topic at hand, so that you don't think I dislike women, because I don't. That leer is one of love, not one of hate.

With introductory explanations out of the way, all women are crazy. Their craziness varies in degrees, but all women have the crazy gene. Some of them are just carriers and the crazy is dormant, but there is a trigger out there for everyone that will make the crazy rise to the surface. Perhaps the crazy gene is carried in the second X chromosome, who knows, but all women have the crazy gene. I love my wife, and I love my mom, but both of them have the crazy gene.

There are countless examples of craziness coming from the fairer sex, but there is one that always stood out to me. One of the most common nightmares that women have (I'm totally making this part up, but I've hear anecdotal evidence that agrees with me on this) is being seen in public either in their underwear, or heaven forbid, completely nude. This is what makes

The example in question? Swimsuits. As a lover the female form, there is nothing as exciting as accidental nudity (stick with me, this is going somewhere). You know, when a shirt flops open just a little too much. That's why amateur porn rocks. You can imagine yourself in those situations. If a woman is too hot you can't put yourself there, because she wouldn't talk to you. What does this have to do with swimsuits? This:

One of the things that women would find most embarrassing is to be caught in public in their underwear. But go to any pool and women hang out in swimsuits, which often cover up much less than the granny panties so many women wear. I am a firm believer that granny panties should be banned, but they exist, and not only do they exist, they probably have a large percentage of the ass covering market. I could go on and on about why thongs are cool, but that is the subject of another blog for another time. How can less coverage be more acceptable?

Along the whole swimming pool line, whoever invented the tankini should be shot. The tankini, for anyone that doesn't know is the bastard hybrid of a bikini and a one piece swimsuit. The top becomes a top with a skirt that covers everything between the top and the bottom via a make-shift skirt. There's an old saying, "shit or get off the pot." If you're willing to wear a bikini, wear it. If not, wear a one piece, that's fine. This tankini bullshit is for people that aren't willing to commit. It reminds me of women who will cheat on their boyfriends, but won't sleep with you. You can't get "a little pregnant." Commit. Pick a side. Kill the creator of the tankini.