I'm an egotistical bastard. Of course if you're reading this, you should already know this. I tend to view most things in context of if I could do whatever the thing in question is.
Outside of pure feats of strength I can do anything I've seen in a soccer game. Not with nearly the consistency, but I can do it. Same thing with golf. I can drop a 50 foot putt, I've done it before. I can hit a drive in the middle of the fairway, etc. I can't do any of these things consistently, but I can (and in most cases have) done them.
I know what you're thinking...holy shit, is he actually doing a blog that doesn't revolve around reality TV? Of course not.
Reality TV has a special place in my heart (assuming that I actually have one). Part borne out of the voyeuristic nature of it, partially because I could really see myself there. I'm not talking about the dancing shows or the singing shows, or the fucking Bret Michaels shows, I'm talking about CBS's big 2 and the other one (Survivor, The Amazing Race, and Big Brother). It's no secret that I've applied to all of them, and I've been close (kind of) to actually competing in all three, having been a semi-finalist 5 fucking times, but never making the cut.
Summer is a black hole for television, where people do dumb things like go outside, spend time with their family, etc. Big Brother has a great niche in that they are one of the few first run television shows in the middle of summer.
Two full weeks in to a painful season (for me) of Big Brother I am actually informed enough to start talking about it. In the beginning it is hard to get all of the characters right (unless they really stand-out which can be the kiss of death) so I waited til I had formed some opinions about the household guests of the summer. I was actually going to write this earlier today (before tonight's eviction), but I couldn't being on vacation and all.
The two evictees
Annie: Not much to say, but what a joke of a swerve "the sabatour" ended up to be. She did give me a great idea for a strategy for the future: Come out to the gay man as a closeted homosexual. That's like having an extra vote.
Monet: Christ she cried a lot. And as much as some of her criticism of other HG's was spot-on, what a catty bitch.
The Remaining 11
Andrew: This guy has to go. Be religious, that's cool. However he is too religious. There is something in the bible about not pushing your religion on others (which he isn't directly), but by making them conform to his things he kind of is. His whole attitude of not letting the game over take his religion is a reason he shouldn't be there. He can't win.
Brendon: Douche-bag. Not the biggest one in the house, but one for sure. He cried almost as much as Annie the first week. One of my biggest fears if I got on a show is that I would cry like a little girl. I'm sure I wouldn't cry as much as him. Can't win.
Britney: Okay, here I'm torn. She's part bitch, part whiner. I like the bitch (even though the wonky eye is distracting), but the whiner makes me want to curb-stomp her. She reminds me of Jordan except she's not legally retarded. Has painted herself deep into a corner, but could go deep because she has no one else. Has shown a few glimmers of gameplay. She needs to find friends fast. Probably can't win.
Enzo: Thanks MTV. Because of The Jersey Shore we have this douche-bag to watch all summer, and he will be around for awhile. Is playing the game well, but the "meow-meow" bullshit makes me want to open a vein. In the end he will get cut as the 5th or 6th man standing. To much of a dick to win.
Hayden: For as much as he's on, he's really still kind of low profile. Part of the only important alliance currently in play. Doesn't seem like a smart guy, but seems nice enough. Reminds me of Dan's partner from two seasons ago. Will go deep if his alliance doesn't cut him because of his blossoming relationship with someone in the house. Comes in 4th.
Kathy: Not really much to say. She reminds me of someone I know, but I can't figure out who. Has nice cans. Kind of a goofball. Not much of a player.
Kristen: She is probably a really nice, funny, interesting person. None of this comes out on the show. A real non-factor. Her showmance thing might take her far. Nice that she actually has a boyfriend back home.
Lane: Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Part of the small group that actually has a clue as to what is going on. Comes in 3rd.
Matt: He is me. If I had to put my finger on why I wouldn't have made the cut for this season is they found a slightly more attractive and younger me. Smart-ass, intelligent, anti-religion, schemer, etc. He is me. However, putting himself on the block is something I never would have done. Big stones on this one. He is in the top two.
Rachel: Out sooner rather than later. She will fall apart if her showmance partner is dumped (and he will be). Is already talking about getting married. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Is supposed to be really intelligent. Can you be ditzy and intelligent. Gone very soon.
Ragan: As he is probably used to he is filling the hole he is supposed to. Nice enough guy, and actually appears to have some gameplay under the exterior. A little too flamboyant for my tastes. However I think he probably makes top two, and if he does it really is a contest between him and Matt.
Me on Big Brother
I've always said that Big Brother is the one show I'd go on that I don't think I could win. Putting myself in the house with these lunk heads would probably push me over the edge. Would I be able to swallow my pride and actually associate with these pin-heads for 90 days? I don't know, but I wish I would have had the chance to find out.
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